God, I don't know... at the time, I just chalked it up to her not wanting me to come over and baby her, I guess? Figured she was trying to strike out on her own.
[See how well that worked out.
He does listen to Crow, sighing a little once he's done. His leniency does have a ceiling, but...]
...don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't have a point. I'm going to call them anyway – even if I somehow can't weasel an address out of them, which would be amazingly stupid but I'm not putting past her at this point, I really ought to tell them about you.
[And it would be a shame to rain on that good news with all this.]
But... I am her brother, after all, and I know my parents. They... mm. How do I put this?
[He sighs, gaze turning up toward the pillows he has set up as a makeshift headboard.]
I don't want to sound ungrateful. They love us, they put everything they had into raising us and neither of us were ever wanting for a thing. But even so... I can't deny they can be a little overbearing.
They've got high expectations of both of us... her especially. And when something holds either of us back from meeting those... I know they just worry, I know they mean well. But it's why both of us learned how to shrug everything off and act like nothing was ever wrong. Bottling everything up and falling apart is easier than dealing with them.
The disappointment, the misguided attempts at advice and solutions that just wind up making you feel more inadequate... I've been the one taking most of that all our lives. And knowing what it's like, it's a hard pill to swallow to imagine pushing all that on her now.
[A pause, then soft, bitter laughter.]
...'sides. I'm probably the last person that ought to talk about wasting tuition...
[He listens. Crow's silent the whole time that Rean speaks, letting the information settle into his brain. It's nice, actually, hearing more about Rean's life, about what his parents are like. About how it was growing up as a Schwarzer. Putting into words why exactly Rean and Raina are the way they are. It makes things so much clearer, and it lets Crow actually study those problems...and how to help them.
It's got to be tough...hell, Crow remembers letting out his past when they sat there on the swingset. It's showing a vulnerable side of yourself that you've kept walls around for so long.
He's proud.]
That's the first time you've ever told me about House Schwarzer, you know...[He seems pleased, honestly. Rean's really opened up since they've gotten close.]
Guess even having parents can come with their own set of problems. Expectations. Unwritten Rules.
[Crow's voice is soft, almost uncharacteristically so.]
But if your parents aren't gonna come down hard on her, that's something you're gonna have to do yourself, Rean. You're gonna have to be the bad guy in her little fantasy world, and bring her back down to reality where we go to work, pay bills, and go to school. No being her best friend. Be her brother.
[It's not a lecture, just a reminder that Raina has to learn from this.]
[In a way, Rean's almost glad Crow hasn't commented on his last little note there. It's fine, talking about Raina like this over the phone, but... well, he remembers Crow letting out his past on that swingset, too.
He owes it to Crow to talk about things like that, things about him, in person.
So, for now, he'll just focus on everything else, and not let himself get caught up in his own problems besides.]
...Yeah. You're right. I think... once I figure out where she is, and I am going to figure out where she is come hell or high water, I'm going to give it one last go at talking some sense into her myself. Face to face. And if that doesn't work... I hate to do it, but you just might be right about it being time to deploy Mom and Dad.
[And then that last part, the way Crow sounds almost mystified, gets him to laugh a little.]
Um, yes? Obviously?
I mean... naturally, I'm going to have to fudge some of the finer details a bit, because I don't want to drag my parents in on all this Retrospec nonsense. But even more than that...
[It's easier to say this when he doesn't have to look at Crow, at least, although even so he can feel some heat rising in his cheeks.]
You're probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me, Crow. When I told you up on that mountain I wasn't going anywhere, I meant it. And...
[...Another laugh, this time more disbelieving at himself.]
Heh. I guess we never really put this into words, did we? No time like the present, I guess...
I want you to be a part of my life. Forever, if I can avoid screwing things up. Of course I want my parents to know about you.
[There's conviction there, where Rean usually would have mild confidence or a wishy-washy stance. It's good, and it's a Rean that's slowly getting a grip on his own life. Making the difference he wants to see made.]
Sounds like a plan. We can rule out the school dorms, probably, so all that's left is local housing.
[It's not much, but anything's something.]
Let me know if you need some extra muscle. I know how to break into a door with a credit card.
[But Rean's answer floors him, filling him with a rippling warmth that he can't even describe.
To be told that he's not only a great thing, but one of the best things to happen to Rean... It's weird. It's a good weird, making him tingle from his brain all the way to the tips of his fingers.]
I'm...
[His voice sounds awed, like a child who's just seen Disneyworld for the first time. Red eyes fixate on something in the distance, gripping his phone tight in his hand as if it were his lifeline.
I want you to be a part of my life. Forever, if I can avoid screwing things up.
His face hurts so much from that smile.]
Haha...!! Oh my god, you've left me speechless...
[He practically erupts in laughter, ringing like a bell over that phone connection. Rean wasn't going to leave. And neither would he.]
You better hold yourself to that promise! Because I've got no intention of leaving either.
Jeez, hope I'm what they expect you to bring home.
Yeah. Which still isn't much, but I will bang on every single door in this city until I find hers if I have to.
[...]
You know what? I'm just going to do us both a favor and not ask why you know that.
[But there's still the rest of that to contend with. The tone in Crow's voice with that single muttered "I'm" that Rean can't quite place over the connection. Awe? Uncertainty?]
...S-sorry. Too much?
[...But then Crow starts laughing, and Rean knows immediately that it's in joy. With that weight lifted, Rean can't help but chuckle, too.]
...Or just too cheesy? But no, I wouldn't make a promise to you I didn't have every intention of keeping.
[Rean falls quiet for just a moment at that last point, his smile softening. His voice comes softer to match when he does respond.]
I'm sure you'll be everything they expect and then some.
It's not too hard to figure out. Raina's trying so damn hard to hide her place of living that there's no way she'd be on campus housing where you could just ask someone.
[He may not know Raina very well, but when it comes to overthinking things, she's the master.]
[As for Rean's response, Crow can't help but melt into his own pillows. Damn...this wasn't fair. He was so used to flirting with Rean, making him all flustered. Now that Rean's got the confidence to do it back, he's at a loss for words when that true affection gets hurled right at him.
He loves it. But it's not fair.]
It's so you, and that's what's got it's charm. Wouldn't ask it for any other way.
[He fell for Rean Schwarzer as he is, after all.]
Shit, if I'm what they expect I gotta clean myself up.
...And it will be a break, because I don't trust you not to just bite into half of it at once like some kind of animal.
[Boys, please...]
Okay, well. I will absolutely delete any duck faces you send me without comment and with great prejudice, but I would appreciate the cleavage. If~ I'm gonna be honest.
[Look what you did, Crow. You corrupted a perfectly good boy scout.]
[He's smiling so widely his face almost hurts. God, he can't remember ever feeling this light and airy, this genuinely happy before Crow walked into his life.
There are certainly still issues. He called Crow because of one of them, after all, and that's not wholly off his mind. But this certainly helps.]
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[See how well that worked out.
He does listen to Crow, sighing a little once he's done. His leniency does have a ceiling, but...]
...don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you don't have a point. I'm going to call them anyway – even if I somehow can't weasel an address out of them, which would be amazingly stupid but I'm not putting past her at this point, I really ought to tell them about you.
[And it would be a shame to rain on that good news with all this.]
But... I am her brother, after all, and I know my parents. They... mm. How do I put this?
[He sighs, gaze turning up toward the pillows he has set up as a makeshift headboard.]
I don't want to sound ungrateful. They love us, they put everything they had into raising us and neither of us were ever wanting for a thing. But even so... I can't deny they can be a little overbearing.
They've got high expectations of both of us... her especially. And when something holds either of us back from meeting those... I know they just worry, I know they mean well. But it's why both of us learned how to shrug everything off and act like nothing was ever wrong. Bottling everything up and falling apart is easier than dealing with them.
The disappointment, the misguided attempts at advice and solutions that just wind up making you feel more inadequate... I've been the one taking most of that all our lives. And knowing what it's like, it's a hard pill to swallow to imagine pushing all that on her now.
[A pause, then soft, bitter laughter.]
...'sides. I'm probably the last person that ought to talk about wasting tuition...
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It's got to be tough...hell, Crow remembers letting out his past when they sat there on the swingset. It's showing a vulnerable side of yourself that you've kept walls around for so long.
He's proud.]
That's the first time you've ever told me about House Schwarzer, you know...[He seems pleased, honestly. Rean's really opened up since they've gotten close.]
Guess even having parents can come with their own set of problems. Expectations. Unwritten Rules.
[Crow's voice is soft, almost uncharacteristically so.]
But if your parents aren't gonna come down hard on her, that's something you're gonna have to do yourself, Rean. You're gonna have to be the bad guy in her little fantasy world, and bring her back down to reality where we go to work, pay bills, and go to school. No being her best friend. Be her brother.
[It's not a lecture, just a reminder that Raina has to learn from this.]
...
You're really gonna tell 'em about me?
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He owes it to Crow to talk about things like that, things about him, in person.
So, for now, he'll just focus on everything else, and not let himself get caught up in his own problems besides.]
...Yeah. You're right. I think... once I figure out where she is, and I am going to figure out where she is come hell or high water, I'm going to give it one last go at talking some sense into her myself. Face to face. And if that doesn't work... I hate to do it, but you just might be right about it being time to deploy Mom and Dad.
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Um, yes? Obviously?
I mean... naturally, I'm going to have to fudge some of the finer details a bit, because I don't want to drag my parents in on all this Retrospec nonsense. But even more than that...
[It's easier to say this when he doesn't have to look at Crow, at least, although even so he can feel some heat rising in his cheeks.]
You're probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me, Crow. When I told you up on that mountain I wasn't going anywhere, I meant it. And...
[...Another laugh, this time more disbelieving at himself.]
Heh. I guess we never really put this into words, did we? No time like the present, I guess...
I want you to be a part of my life. Forever, if I can avoid screwing things up. Of course I want my parents to know about you.
1/2
Sounds like a plan. We can rule out the school dorms, probably, so all that's left is local housing.
[It's not much, but anything's something.]
Let me know if you need some extra muscle. I know how to break into a door with a credit card.
2/2
To be told that he's not only a great thing, but one of the best things to happen to Rean... It's weird. It's a good weird, making him tingle from his brain all the way to the tips of his fingers.]
I'm...
[His voice sounds awed, like a child who's just seen Disneyworld for the first time. Red eyes fixate on something in the distance, gripping his phone tight in his hand as if it were his lifeline.
I want you to be a part of my life. Forever, if I can avoid screwing things up.
His face hurts so much from that smile.]
Haha...!! Oh my god, you've left me speechless...
[He practically erupts in laughter, ringing like a bell over that phone connection. Rean wasn't going to leave. And neither would he.]
You better hold yourself to that promise! Because I've got no intention of leaving either.
Jeez, hope I'm what they expect you to bring home.
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[...]
You know what? I'm just going to do us both a favor and not ask why you know that.
[But there's still the rest of that to contend with. The tone in Crow's voice with that single muttered "I'm" that Rean can't quite place over the connection. Awe? Uncertainty?]
...S-sorry. Too much?
[...But then Crow starts laughing, and Rean knows immediately that it's in joy. With that weight lifted, Rean can't help but chuckle, too.]
...Or just too cheesy? But no, I wouldn't make a promise to you I didn't have every intention of keeping.
[Rean falls quiet for just a moment at that last point, his smile softening. His voice comes softer to match when he does respond.]
I'm sure you'll be everything they expect and then some.
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[He may not know Raina very well, but when it comes to overthinking things, she's the master.]
[As for Rean's response, Crow can't help but melt into his own pillows. Damn...this wasn't fair. He was so used to flirting with Rean, making him all flustered. Now that Rean's got the confidence to do it back, he's at a loss for words when that true affection gets hurled right at him.
He loves it. But it's not fair.]
It's so you, and that's what's got it's charm. Wouldn't ask it for any other way.
[He fell for Rean Schwarzer as he is, after all.]
Shit, if I'm what they expect I gotta clean myself up.
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[Damn right she is. Who knew she could outdo Rean himself?
The comment about it being so "him" makes his smile split into a grin.]
Well, good, because I promise there's a lot more sap where that came from. Just maybe better saved for when I can actually see you.
[...That sounds a bit like a promise, doesn't it.
And then there's that last bit, and Rean barks out a noise that's half laughter and half offended scoff.]
Excuse you! What's that supposed to mean?!
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If past him could see himself now...he'd have never believed it.]
Oh I'm in danger now. I'm not sure I can take all that sugar.
[He completely can and will. But Rean's laughter is soon joined by his own, as he flops against the couch cushions.]
I'm just saying it's a no-bandana kind of occasion!
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Rean is now, too, at least with this much. Honestly, truly.]
Damn right you are. If there's anything in this world that's going to take you out, it's going to be me. With diabetes.
[There's the tiniest hitch to his voice as he says that, as if he doesn't want to think about it even as a joke. Still, Crow's save gets a laugh.]
Okay, that I'll accept. ...But, you know. I'll level with you.
Every day should be a no-bandana kind of occasion, if you ask me. You look way better without it.
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Joke's on you, I've got Oreos in my diet. I'm prepared for the long haul.
[He pauses, though, eyes blinking owlishly.]
Yeah?
Hair's gettin' kinda long, though, I'll have to either get it cut or style it.
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[God, though. It's strange, just being able to put his thoughts to words so casually with someone, but... he can't say he minds.]
Yeah.
Could try tying it back like Elliot does. Probably ought to trim up your bangs a little, though, so you can actually see.
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[Get it, sweetness pun.]
Hm..Elliot makes it work, though.
Maybe just something off to the side. I'll take a few pictures.
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[Are they doing this? Oh, no.]
I eagerly await them.
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[Crow.]
Should I do duck faces or show off my cleavage? Have we reached that level of selfies?
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...And it will be a break, because I don't trust you not to just bite into half of it at once like some kind of animal.
[Boys, please...]
Okay, well. I will absolutely delete any duck faces you send me without comment and with great prejudice, but I would appreciate the cleavage. If~ I'm gonna be honest.
[Look what you did, Crow. You corrupted a perfectly good boy scout.]
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Honestly, I'm not a caveman.
[These two are the happiest disaster to ever exist.]
HAHA, I had a feeling you wouldn't resist I'm no Alisa-chan, but you'll get the very best.
[HE REGRETS NOTHING.]
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[They really are.]
You're not, but that's fine. I like you better.
[♥]
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[He smiles, though, obviously eating up that attention. Yes, tell him he's prettier than your animes.]
And I you.
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[And to that last point, he's quiet for a second before laughing a little, shyly.]
...Here I am, talking to you like this, and the minute you turn it back on me, I get all tongue-tied...
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That's our thing, though, right?
An endless battle of wills, whether its in a mech or for love.
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Still. Just means I'm going to have to practice, until I can defeat you even in this. Right?
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Guess I'll have to up my game, too. That's my ace in the hole.
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[He's smiling so widely his face almost hurts. God, he can't remember ever feeling this light and airy, this genuinely happy before Crow walked into his life.
There are certainly still issues. He called Crow because of one of them, after all, and that's not wholly off his mind. But this certainly helps.]
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