[Elliot had been pretty upset about October, but finding a member of Class VII had done wonders to lift his spirits. A year of searching and worrying, and he finally found someone. And even better, it was someone he liked and got along well with! Talking to Crow felt like talking to an old friend, even without relying on the memories. It was more than he had hoped for.
What more, for the first time in forever, he felt real hope that the others were out there too somewhere. If he and Crow were both in this world, then maybe the other nine were too, just waiting to be found. Even if he was sure things would be different in this life than they were in the memories, it still was a huge weight off his chest knowing that there was a good chance the people his other self found so precious were okay.
All that aside, he was excited to introduce Crow to the people precious to Elliot in this lifetime. Eren was an obvious first choice, especially since Crow said he wanted to meet him. A few conversations (where Elliot basically gushed happiness) with his fiance, and he arranged for them to meet at Big Bang Burgers on Saturday.
By the time Crow gets there, Elliot and Eren are already there. Elliot's got one of the smaller burger meals for himself (which he hasn't touched), and having trouble holding still just from both excitement and nerves. His fingers keep absentmindedly drumming piano chords on the table, and his foot keeps tapping. His two lives colliding, oh boy. He sure hopes this goes well. ]
[ for a crisp november afternoon, it’s a great day to wear boots (although eren probably wears boots everyday regardless of the weather). a stylishmantoday, manbun flawless and going with a bold choice: a cosmo burger that’s still being prepared somewhere. he’ll just have to burn it all off at the gym before his arteries can complain.
the best part of the day still has to be his fiancé, in which eren just can’t. for the love of him. stop staring at! look how happy he is— look how giddy he is! sipping on his ginger ale and keeping his arm on top of the bunk of elliot’s seat, eren’s got this big set of blue eyes that just
they’re gooey and mushy and at maximum love drive. if this makes elliot happy, he wants to keep it forever. the mystery person from his past life makes eren curious, but just as eager to meet the friend that brings his partner importance. ]
You look happy. [ he says, flirting with a bump of his shoulder into elliot’s and a snagged look up and down. elliot is magnificently radiant when he’s happy. it’s beautiful. ]
[Crow had done all the necessary preparations. With no classes after 3pm on Thursday, he was more than able to grab the ingredients needed for his baking afternoon with Rean on Friday.
His night classes didn't start til 8pm, so it was plenty of time to (try and) make cookies. They were the easiest baked good recipe to do, so it makes sense that that's the one they'd try first.
This year, ooze cookie will not be making a comeback.
...But just in case, Crow bought a jumbo box of Rice Krispies and some marshmallows. Should cookies turn out to be a total bust, any idiot with half a brain can make Rice Krispy Treats and doll them up nicely.
He'd texted Rean his address a little while ago, telling him to pop on over whenever. It wasn't too far from Rean's dorm, he remembers, so he'll just idly clean up the area around the couch.
[Rean is going over to a friend's house after school, mom!!!
Crow had told him to come over whenever, but Rean is ever himself, and as such let Crow know when his classes let out and that he'd be heading over after he dropped his things off back at his dorm. And true to his word, less than an hour after his classes let out, there's a beep at Crow's intercom.
Rean stands at the door, stuffing his hands into his pockets and tapping the tip of one foot against the pavement as he waits for either the door to the building to unlock or for Crow to say something from the other end.]
[Well. He's said he's going to be heading out soon, so he ought to get on that. It's too hot to want to move, but there's things that need to get done before he can head out into the maybe slightly cooler night air.
The first order of business is changing out of his pajamas into something suitable to walk outside in. The second is dragging his duffel bag out from under his bed and getting to work on filling it.
Enough clothes to last a bit before he'd have to do laundry. His rice cooker, as requested. Toiletries, which are getting shoved in a freezer bag for now. His laptop, his phone charger, and a textbook he knows he'll need sooner rather than later.
That'll probably cover it. If not, it's not like he can't come back.
Keys, wallet, phone, ARCUS unit, bag over shoulder. Good lord, this thing is heavy. Okay, off he goes.
It's a fairly uneventful walk between his place and Crow's. It's as sweltering as ever, the smoke still unfortunately filling the air and stinging his eyes (and is he ever glad he hasn't switched back to contacts this month). Still, the relative peace and quiet is pretty nice, he thinks.
The staff member on duty in the convenience store gives him a judging stare for grabbing coffee at 3 in the morning, in this heat no less, but doesn't actually say anything about it as Rean hands over the cash. It's not the staff's job to care, after all.
Onward.
Eventually, he's made his way over to Crow's, and digs his phone out of his pocket to send a text to him directly.]
[Crow's been busy prepping for Rean's arrival, setting up some blankets on the couch and a pillow propped there. He was going to offer his room to him first--he could always take the couch or even his friend's room, since he doubted she was going to even make her way out here with all the fire blocking the way in.
But the couch was comfy enough too, all things considered.
He's just finished getting everything set when he hears his phone buzz, picking it up to give a quick response:]
I'll come grab you. Be right there
[And with that, Crow makes his way down to meet him, keys in hand and dressed in his pajamas. Which, to be fair, were just baggy sleep pants and a muscle tank with this on it. His hair's more disheveled than normal, probably a mix of bedhead and how it naturally falls when the headband isn't there to hold it up.]
Yo~ You made it!
C'mon, lemme take that for you. [He holds out his hand to grab the bag from him.]
[For once, Rean wakes up from a memory-dream relatively peacefully, lying on his side and blinking blearily toward the wall of his dorm room. He's still drenched in sweat, but this time it seems fairly likely to just be because of the ever-oppressive heat as opposed to the usual fear.
For a minute, he just lays there, turning over the words in his head. If he saw anything in that dream, it's long left him, but the words play back as clear as day.
"Did you even stop to think for one second about what would have happened if you got caught in that explosion?" Crow, undoubtedly. A bit more subdued and clipped than usual, but a tone he's heard from the man before – just hours ago, in fact.
And that's what resonates with him now. The conversation didn't seem quite as dire in his memory, but even so, it's still the same one, isn't it?
With a frustrated sigh, mostly at himself, he sits up and gropes for his phone with one hand as he rubs his eye with the heel of his palm on the other.
...ugh. It's, what, four in the morning? He wants to say this now, while the feeling is eating at him. It would probably be better to say something like this out loud, but it's definitely way too late (too early?) for a phone call.
Text it is.]
Hey, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for putting you through all of that earlier, and I'm sorry for being such a child about it afterward. You're right, what I did was dangerous and stupid and I shouldn't have thrown myself in harm's way like that without an actual plan. I can't thank you enough for what you did to help me afterward, but I never should have put you in that position at all.
[He sends that, then pauses as he reads over it a couple of times. It doesn't feel like enough, doesn't feel like he's properly expressed what he's feeling, but...]
So, yeah, just
I don't know what else to say but I hope that can clear the air at least a little
[Crow's phone buzzes right by his face when the text sends. He'd just been playing his gacha games until he'd fallen asleep and it's not until Rean's text goes off that he blearily blinks, instinctively reaching for his phone.
A part of him hopes it's the school that's alerting him classes are canceled because of the heat...but something tells him he won't be so lucky.
Crow rubs his eyes with a soft moan, reading the text as best he can and letting it process. Truth be told...he'd put it behind him, and figured what was done was done. Rean was okay, albeit now with a rather nasty shoulder scar, and that's really all that should've mattered.
To see such an apology from him, Crow can't help but feel a little guilty on his end, too, the edges of his lips forming the smallest of smiles as he reaches the end of that text stream.
Rean, you're too much sometimes.
Rean might not be expecting a response back at 4AM, but he sure as hell is getting one.]
It was pretty dangerous and stupid I'll give you that
But
I guess we all get like that sometimes. Retrospec puts us all in things we can't really plan for, right? So...I'll let you off the hook. I mean I already did, but I had to be the tough guy for a little bit, you know
Besides
I didn't get a chance to thank you. Dunno if it was pride or what, but
Don't beat yourself up over it, at least. I'm sure not holding anything against you
[To tell you the truth, he's been reeling in secondhand embarrassment over that entire post the later it gets in the day. He really can't explain it...]
[ and a life changing world living had become on the first of march, for amaterasu. for ahmi? the names were the same to her. ahmi has her doors open and waiting for her two boys to enter, picking out aromas specific for each, meditating to align her chakras, and so on. there are more candles lit than there are lightbulbs used, a gentle breeze coming through the windows. natural light brightens the indoor bamboo garden, and the smell of nature is as strong as an outdoor garden.
her legs crossed and her eyes closed, she adjusts to the use of the celestial brush and its plain, pressing the ink, invisible to the agnostic eye, into her hands. a single bud of a flower pops to life, and using thin (but sturdy) strings, she loops them into intricate braids, each loop tied to a bloom.
she's making three. a bird has managed to make its way in through the open glass doors and windows ajar, a little sparrow, and it sings, hops over and perches itself on a bonsai, its display grand and its song chipper.
ahmi can only smile, eyes still closed, but listening very, very carefully to her visitor. not the one she expected, but loved, all the same. ]
[Agreeing to attend a session with Elliot seemed like easy mode when he'd agreed, but now that he's standing at the door to her clinic, Crow can feel his veins turning to ice. His chiro appointments were one thing, aromatherapy, as out-there as it sounded, was less intimidating than talking.
Hell, the only reason he'd told Rean about his life was because it was out there for the world to see, and hopefully deleted by now.
But if Elliot's here, then he's got no reason to back down...the guy had taken control of his anxiety and come to Ahmi for help, right? He could...do the same.
Yeah. Let's go with that.]
Alright, time to realign my bones and talk about feelings...or something like that.
Sudden embarrassing telepathy transmission coming in three, two, one--
[I wonder if it's weird to date someone who's been in your body before...]
That.
That can be misinterpreted in a lot of ways and none of them are good and I'm so sorry, Crow. But that voice is definitely Raina's, so. That's a thing. ]
Hey, will you be around the city at any point this week? I know things are crazy down in Magatus
But if you'll be around, I have another mailbox run to do, and assuming I'm understanding this properly, I'd rather go with someone who has experience pulling bladed weapons out of the mailbox
I mean, basically my "plan" is go in there and quit being Mr. Nice Guy and tell her she needs to at least go out and get a job until next semester, at which point she is re-enrolling
But if you had any thoughts on anything else I'm all ears
[A bit of time passes while he texts Elliot, at which point he comes back.]
Like... say if I did something like this. What would you say to me? Because that's basically what it is. Me trying to get something into a skull that's just like mine, but slightly thicker.
[Crow's impressed by the conviction Rean seems to have for this. Not that he'd ever call Rean 'soft', but it's always harder going after your own family.]
It's a good plan. She's used to you being her second musketeer, and she knows she can deflect the conversation if she's sarcastic enough or throws a meme out there
Good strategy, but she's far from a pro, especially when you can see right through it
[A pause.]
You're your own best reference. What convinced you to come back to us?
[Well! Everything went better than expected? Rean got Raina to agree to his terms, at least, and without much opposition. Certainly, it doesn't fix everything, but it's a step in the right direction.
Even so, Rean's feeling pretty drained by the time he makes it over to Crow's. He slips in behind someone else entering Crow's building, thanking them for holding the door with a tired smile before stepping into the elevator and leaning back against the wall with a sigh.
It's a short ride up, and from there, he practically goes on autopilot to Crow's door. He raps his knuckles gently against it as a warning before trying the knob, and as promised, it's unlocked for him.]
Hey, Crow. [And quickly closing the door behind him to prevent the cat from escaping, although Pachinko seems far more interested in nuzzling up against Rean's legs as he trots over.] Hey, Patchy.
[Pachinko was the master doorgreeter, but Crow's there too, hand leaning on the counter as he watches the door for it to open.
Truth be told, he was a little nervous. Rean seemed to be a ball of nerves on the phone last they talked, and with Raina as sensitive as she is, who knows how things would have turned out.
The ice in his veins slowly thaws at Rean's greeting, at least.]
I take it things were smooth sailin'?
[The hints of relief on Rean's face are more than evident.]
[Rean's mind is a blur as he dashes over toward Crow, practically in tunnel-vision as he drops to his knees beside his friend. Crow's visibly in pain, kneeling with a hand clutched to his chest, and automatically Rean moves to slip an arm around his shoulders and lower him backwards.
Crow puts up no resistance. Distantly, Rean knows he can't, but he refuses to acknowledge it.
"Heh. Right where I... shot Osborne, too..." Even like this, Crow's cracking jokes. "Karma's a bitch, huh?" He's coughing, his voice weaker than Rean's ever heard it. There's blood staining the front of his clothing, with the blossoming dark red gore seeming to unfurl a little further with every passing second. "Sorry, Rean. Looks like I'm not gonna be able to keep that promise after all... Towa and Gelica and George are gonna have to..."
Crow's straining to make the words out, and from what seems like far away Rean can hear his classmates begging him to stay quiet. Rean joins in, his eyes welled with tears and his own voice trembling.
"It's okay! That doesn't matter right now!" He shakes his head, his hand coming to rest atop Crow's arm in some vague attempt to comfort... Crow? Himself? He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything.
There are more voices, from his classmates, from a woman in blue, from his instructor. None of them clearly register. He hears something, vaguely, about being pierced through the heart. The bespectacled girl in front of them, her hands glowing and outstretched, sounds like she's in tears.
"It's not working..." Crow coughs again, thick and wet and awful in ways Rean can't even describe, then acknowledges the girl.
"Thanks, Emma... and you, kitty. At least this way... I can say my goodbyes." Rean finds himself shaking his head again, his hands trembling, his voice desperate.
"No... don't talk like that..." As if that will somehow change this, as if they're both not fully aware of how their fairy tale ends. To that, Crow smiles up at Rean, his eyes as gentle as Rean always wanted them to be, but at the exact wrong moment. He reaches his non-bloodied hand up to run through Rean's hair, tenderly.
"I swear... you're such a spoiled kid sometimes..."
Crow turns his attention to the others, and speaks to each of them in turn. Rean can't even make out the words, can't make out anything but the vague sound of Crow's voice and his heart drumming in his ears; can't even see him, only a tear-blurred mass with that awful red and his skin too pale, and—
"Hey, now... what's with the long faces?" How can he sound like nothing's wrong?
"But..." Rean wants to point it out, but the words fail him. Crow seems fine with that, continuing on.
"You're all going to be in for some... tough times ahead..." It's becoming clearer with each passing word how hard it's becoming for him to speak. Rean wants to scream, but the sound doesn't come. Crow closes his eyes, and for this single moment, he looks regretful. "I can't go any farther now..." His eyes reopen, re-focused. "But you can. So keep going forward..."
With the last of his strength, he raises his arm to point vaguely into the distance, staring out along with it like he's seeing something the rest of them can't. Perhaps he is.
"Relentlessly, without looking back..." One last soft, pained laugh. "If you do... I'm... sure..."
His voice fades, his arm falling to rest at his side with one final exhale. Rean feels his body go limp in his arms, and his eyes widen, tears rolling down his cheeks.
And so those tears continue when he blinks open his eyes to find himself in his bed, staring blankly at the dormitory wall. A memory, something in the back of his mind tells him, but that doesn't stem the flow of tears, doesn't ease the throbbing ache in his chest.
His body moves on autopilot, now, as he sits up and picks up his phone. He's vaguely aware that he's moving around his room as he flicks open his contacts screen to dial someone.
Crow 💙
He brings the phone to his ear as he kicks off his pajama pants, pulling on a pair of jeans. It rings, over and over, the sound distant and hollow, until—
"Yo, Crow Armbrust here. Talk to me and I'll hit you up when I got the time." Beep.
Damn it. He hangs up, immediately going to try again as he shoves his feet into his boots and kneels down to tie them, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder.
Why are you even trying? He's not going to answer, you know that. Because he's—
Because he's asleep, Rean cuts off that train of thought. What time is it, even? He didn't even look, but he knows it's a time no sane person would be awake. And that's going by Crow's standards, not his own.
He's shrugging on his jacket when he gets the voicemail message again, walking absently toward the door and going through the motions to lock it. From there, he doesn't even think twice as he makes his way toward Crow's apartment building.
There are still people on the streets, even at this hour – it's a city, after all. Still, Rean ignores them, laser-focused on his own destination. He tries calling once more as he walks, only to get the voicemail again.
Maybe the fourth time's the charm. He's almost reached the building, now, and at this hour it's unlikely he's going to be able to slip in with someone else. Even if he could, he doesn't have a key.
[It was true, Crow was sleeping at this time of the night (morning?). So when the phone goes off, he stubbornly tries to ignore it, figuring it was just Eren attempting to get him up for some extra training.
No, Eren. There is no extra credit in getting his ass kicked.
When the first call goes to voicemail, he internally sighs in relief, feeling that'd be the end of it, as he readies himself to go back to his 1.5 hours of slumber.
And that's when the phone goes off again.
Persistent, he muses, eyes shutting tight as he hopes that maybe two voicemails will get the message across to the dumbass. IT'S FRIDAY, EREN. JEEZ.
Once the buzzing stops, he sighs again, Pachinko getting up to go feed himself in the process. Seems like the phone had gotten him up for the day....must be nice when you're a cat and can sleep whenever you want.
When the phone starts buzzing the third time, Crow finally lifts his head from the pillow, staring blearily at the phone that lay on his nightstand. Okay, that settles it. Something was wrong, and he clumsily feels his way over to it in order to see just what was so important.
That's when he saw.
Rean ❤️
He immediately hits 'accept' on the screen and holds it up to his ear.]
Mmmnn~
[His voice sounds as groggy as he probably looks, the hints of a tired smile practically heard.]
[ Welp, even with what he said to Rean, it was only a matter of time before guilt set in fully. That moment was when he was finishing up with his composition assignment, reaching the point he'd usually ask Crow for input. Out of habit, he even pulls up his messages and sees the group chat as the last conversation he had.
Oh. Yeah. He did that. Yikes. He didn't think he was entirely wrong, but man...not his best.
After stewing in anxiety and guilt for awhile, he eventually puts the phone aside, finishes up the edits himself and submits it to the assignment inbox. Is he happy about it? No. He knows there's something off about the piece that he couldn't solve himself. But he deserved that and he won't get the grade back for awhile, so that's something for future Elliot to worry about. Present Elliot had more pressing matters and was grabbing that phone again. ]
[He's really not gettin' that sleep, and Pachinko is less than excited about this foreign nuisance in the house. But there was no way Crow was going to let Eren keep the thing overnight. Days he could trust with him.
Nights he had the image of Eren throwing it like an alarm clock.
So when he gets the text, he's up playing a connect-3 game he found when the text shows up.
And while there is irritation behind the situation, Crow had more or less cooled off about the situation. A little bitter, but nothing he wouldn't get over.
That is, until he reads Elliot's text. Don't do this to him man, he's a bleeding heart for you suckers with self esteem issues]
And here I thought you skipped town for the week
C'mon, 'crappy' is a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?
[No news is...okay news. Although the 'okay' has nothing to do with Rean. Crow's been the victim of 4AM crying and random asphyxiation rescues since he'd gotten this thing, and the rest of the time was him worrying the days he'd left it in Eren's care.
He'd gone out and gotten Rean a little something...but with Rean having plans with Elliot that day, he'd opted to wait til after their walk.
[Rean's been out for a bit, some last-minute errands. He's just now flopping onto the couch after making it back home (and it will be officially, soon!), pulling out his phone to check the messages.
and eren has done the honors of offering not only his homemade celery sticks with cream cheese and rice cakes with red pepper guacamole dip (and you’re going to like his healthy food) as a snack, he’s setting up their table with flash cards. medical edition. he looks focused while he sets them up for both to play like some two player card game, in the comfort of eren’s apartment and dogs outside so they aren’t bothered.
it’s peaceful. nothing but the sound of celery crunching and eren softly grunting to himself to make crow’s round an expert mode. ]
[Contrary to popular belief and previous example, Crow's actually loving the shit out of those celery sticks and rice cakes. It could be the crunch time appetite, or maybe he just eats healthier than he likes to let on, but he's a happy giant bird chewing on a stick as he waits for Eren to finish setting up his round.
He'd told him to 'give him his worst', after all, and he may be only slightly regretting it. His head felt like it was bursting after all that studying they did just to WARM UP.
But Eren's grunts are weird. Eren is weird.
So his mind's wandering as he leans his head back, white hair draping over his eyes. It's not for a few more moments before he speaks up--]
...
So, just between us, how often do you and Elliot do it?
[It's been a long, hard week for both of them. Unfortunately for Crow, only one of them gets to reap the benefits of the weekend early.
Cuddled up on the couch with Pachinko and just kind of zoning out as he streams videos, it's easy for Rean to doze off as he awaits his boyfriend's return.
He recognizes the glass of the Pantagruel's windows almost immediately. It's not the first time he's seen this memory in his dreams. It plays out the same as always, and for the most part, despite seeing the events through his past self's eyes, Rean feels more or less like an observer.
Except this time, the memory doesn't end when Crow's about to tell the story. And with that realization, any distance Rean had from his past self is instantly removed, and his "dream" is suddenly vividly real.
He listens intently, hanging on to every word. Feeling tears prick at his eyes, his body trembling and his chest tightening further and further.
The Crow in his memory turns to him, flashing him a wink and one of his usual devilish smiles, but it never reaches his eyes.
"...So it's only when that's done that my game is truly over."
Rean's stomach just about flips. So that's why he's with the Noble Alliance, going through and doing all this...
Crow's smile softens, and he steps over to close some of the distance between himself and Rean. He reaches up to pat Rean gently on the head, fingers running through his hair and saying
"Hey there, sleeping beauty..."
Wait, what? That doesn't fit in with this at all—
Rean finds himself blinking his eyes open, his eyes a bit glassy from tears in this life as well. He's blinking up at his boyfriend, who's smiling down at him far more genuinely, far more sweetly than the Crow in his memories.
Rean's voice cracks a little as he speaks, his throat still feeling tight. Even so, there's a tiny smile playing on his lips, too.]
[It'd been a little later than his usual night classes. With Finals literally just around the corner he'd been pulling some extra practice on the test dummies for CPR and whatever procedures he could, as well as hitting up the professors for some last minute advice. It ran him late, but of course that was worth it in the end.
Rean understood.
So when he got home, seeing his boyfriend propped up against some pillows holding their cat was exactly what he expected to come home to. Shrugging off his shoulder bag and removing his shoes, he makes his way over to the two, Pachinko leaving Rean's arms to go greet him and hop on his shoulder as per tradition, the distinct 'welcome home' purr and everything.]
Heh, missed you too, buddy. Looks like you were pretty happy watching some vids with Rean.
[Speaking of, he'll reach over and brush some hair out of his eyes, gentle enough to nudge him awake.]
Hey there, sleeping beauty...
[Rean's eyes flutter awake not more than a second after, welcoming him home with a smile. That same smile that made him practically skipping his way home.]
Sorry I'm a bit late.
[But his smile's quick to fade, noticing those glassy eyes with tears pooling at the corners.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
THE GRAPES OF WRATH; 11/3
What more, for the first time in forever, he felt real hope that the others were out there too somewhere. If he and Crow were both in this world, then maybe the other nine were too, just waiting to be found. Even if he was sure things would be different in this life than they were in the memories, it still was a huge weight off his chest knowing that there was a good chance the people his other self found so precious were okay.
All that aside, he was excited to introduce Crow to the people precious to Elliot in this lifetime. Eren was an obvious first choice, especially since Crow said he wanted to meet him. A few conversations (where Elliot basically gushed happiness) with his fiance, and he arranged for them to meet at Big Bang Burgers on Saturday.
By the time Crow gets there, Elliot and Eren are already there. Elliot's got one of the smaller burger meals for himself (which he hasn't touched), and having trouble holding still just from both excitement and nerves. His fingers keep absentmindedly drumming piano chords on the table, and his foot keeps tapping. His two lives colliding, oh boy. He sure hopes this goes well. ]
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the best part of the day still has to be his fiancé, in which eren just can’t. for the love of him. stop staring at! look how happy he is— look how giddy he is! sipping on his ginger ale and keeping his arm on top of the bunk of elliot’s seat, eren’s got this big set of blue eyes that just
they’re gooey and mushy and at maximum love drive. if this makes elliot happy, he wants to keep it forever. the mystery person from his past life makes eren curious, but just as eager to meet the friend that brings his partner importance. ]
You look happy. [ he says, flirting with a bump of his shoulder into elliot’s and a snagged look up and down. elliot is magnificently radiant when he’s happy. it’s beautiful. ]
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Late November i guess;
I found Rean!!
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Wait really
Well this makes things a lot easier cause I have an announcement too
I found Rean!!
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12/7; BAKEAGEDDON
His night classes didn't start til 8pm, so it was plenty of time to (try and) make cookies. They were the easiest baked good recipe to do, so it makes sense that that's the one they'd try first.
This year, ooze cookie will not be making a comeback.
...But just in case, Crow bought a jumbo box of Rice Krispies and some marshmallows. Should cookies turn out to be a total bust, any idiot with half a brain can make Rice Krispy Treats and doll them up nicely.
He'd texted Rean his address a little while ago, telling him to pop on over whenever. It wasn't too far from Rean's dorm, he remembers, so he'll just idly clean up the area around the couch.
He has a guest coming over after school, mom!!!]
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Crow had told him to come over whenever, but Rean is ever himself, and as such let Crow know when his classes let out and that he'd be heading over after he dropped his things off back at his dorm. And true to his word, less than an hour after his classes let out, there's a beep at Crow's intercom.
Rean stands at the door, stuffing his hands into his pockets and tapping the tip of one foot against the pavement as he waits for either the door to the building to unlock or for Crow to say something from the other end.]
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some time maybe PRE SWEATER-HORROR
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He'll take it, though.]
I used to watch my buddies at school play it
But not me
Word's gettin around about how old school I am?
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1/13 3:00AMish
The first order of business is changing out of his pajamas into something suitable to walk outside in. The second is dragging his duffel bag out from under his bed and getting to work on filling it.
Enough clothes to last a bit before he'd have to do laundry. His rice cooker, as requested. Toiletries, which are getting shoved in a freezer bag for now. His laptop, his phone charger, and a textbook he knows he'll need sooner rather than later.
That'll probably cover it. If not, it's not like he can't come back.
Keys, wallet, phone, ARCUS unit, bag over shoulder. Good lord, this thing is heavy. Okay, off he goes.
It's a fairly uneventful walk between his place and Crow's. It's as sweltering as ever, the smoke still unfortunately filling the air and stinging his eyes (and is he ever glad he hasn't switched back to contacts this month). Still, the relative peace and quiet is pretty nice, he thinks.
The staff member on duty in the convenience store gives him a judging stare for grabbing coffee at 3 in the morning, in this heat no less, but doesn't actually say anything about it as Rean hands over the cash. It's not the staff's job to care, after all.
Onward.
Eventually, he's made his way over to Crow's, and digs his phone out of his pocket to send a text to him directly.]
Hey, I'm outside. Think you can buzz me in?
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But the couch was comfy enough too, all things considered.
He's just finished getting everything set when he hears his phone buzz, picking it up to give a quick response:]
I'll come grab you. Be right there
[And with that, Crow makes his way down to meet him, keys in hand and dressed in his pajamas. Which, to be fair, were just baggy sleep pants and a muscle tank with this on it. His hair's more disheveled than normal, probably a mix of bedhead and how it naturally falls when the headband isn't there to hold it up.]
Yo~ You made it!
C'mon, lemme take that for you. [He holds out his hand to grab the bag from him.]
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i can't believe i just wrote that.
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post-key mission, 4:00am
For a minute, he just lays there, turning over the words in his head. If he saw anything in that dream, it's long left him, but the words play back as clear as day.
"Did you even stop to think for one second about what would have happened if you got caught in that explosion?" Crow, undoubtedly. A bit more subdued and clipped than usual, but a tone he's heard from the man before – just hours ago, in fact.
And that's what resonates with him now. The conversation didn't seem quite as dire in his memory, but even so, it's still the same one, isn't it?
With a frustrated sigh, mostly at himself, he sits up and gropes for his phone with one hand as he rubs his eye with the heel of his palm on the other.
...ugh. It's, what, four in the morning? He wants to say this now, while the feeling is eating at him. It would probably be better to say something like this out loud, but it's definitely way too late (too early?) for a phone call.
Text it is.]
Hey, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for putting you through all of that earlier, and I'm sorry for being such a child about it afterward. You're right, what I did was dangerous and stupid and I shouldn't have thrown myself in harm's way like that without an actual plan. I can't thank you enough for what you did to help me afterward, but I never should have put you in that position at all.
[He sends that, then pauses as he reads over it a couple of times. It doesn't feel like enough, doesn't feel like he's properly expressed what he's feeling, but...]
So, yeah, just
I don't know what else to say but I hope that can clear the air at least a little
I'm sorry
and I'm sorry I haven't changed at all
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A part of him hopes it's the school that's alerting him classes are canceled because of the heat...but something tells him he won't be so lucky.
Crow rubs his eyes with a soft moan, reading the text as best he can and letting it process. Truth be told...he'd put it behind him, and figured what was done was done. Rean was okay, albeit now with a rather nasty shoulder scar, and that's really all that should've mattered.
To see such an apology from him, Crow can't help but feel a little guilty on his end, too, the edges of his lips forming the smallest of smiles as he reaches the end of that text stream.
Rean, you're too much sometimes.
Rean might not be expecting a response back at 4AM, but he sure as hell is getting one.]
It was pretty dangerous and stupid I'll give you that
But
I guess we all get like that sometimes. Retrospec puts us all in things we can't really plan for, right? So...I'll let you off the hook. I mean I already did, but I had to be the tough guy for a little bit, you know
Besides
I didn't get a chance to thank you. Dunno if it was pride or what, but
You probably saved my life back there
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2/4; mid-afternoon
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For you, I have all the time in the world~
...As long as its not my night classes, of course.
Spill the deets, what's the ticket say?
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Aw, no hard feelings
Don't beat yourself up over it, at least. I'm sure not holding anything against you
[To tell you the truth, he's been reeling in secondhand embarrassment over that entire post the later it gets in the day. He really can't explain it...]
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her legs crossed and her eyes closed, she adjusts to the use of the celestial brush and its plain, pressing the ink, invisible to the agnostic eye, into her hands. a single bud of a flower pops to life, and using thin (but sturdy) strings, she loops them into intricate braids, each loop tied to a bloom.
she's making three. a bird has managed to make its way in through the open glass doors and windows ajar, a little sparrow, and it sings, hops over and perches itself on a bonsai, its display grand and its song chipper.
ahmi can only smile, eyes still closed, but listening very, very carefully to her visitor. not the one she expected, but loved, all the same. ]
Hello to you too, little one.
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Hell, the only reason he'd told Rean about his life was because it was out there for the world to see, and hopefully deleted by now.
But if Elliot's here, then he's got no reason to back down...the guy had taken control of his anxiety and come to Ahmi for help, right? He could...do the same.
Yeah. Let's go with that.]
Alright, time to realign my bones and talk about feelings...or something like that.
You ready, Elliot?
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Sudden embarrassing telepathy transmission coming in three, two, one--
[I wonder if it's weird to date someone who's been in your body before...]
That.
That can be misinterpreted in a lot of ways and none of them are good and I'm so sorry, Crow. But that voice is definitely Raina's, so. That's a thing. ]
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"I wonder if it's weird to date someone who's been in your body before"
The liquid holds itself in his mouth, just barely.
That.
That was Raina's voice?
And he's pretty sure he didn't hear that incorrectly.]
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text;
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3/12, 12:30pm
But if you'll be around, I have another mailbox run to do, and assuming I'm understanding this properly, I'd rather go with someone who has experience pulling bladed weapons out of the mailbox
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[tfw 30+ degrees seems like a heatwave.]
I've gotta stop back there sometime to get more stuff for first aid kits so yeah I'll be around later this afternoon. Around 3?
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3/3 I lied
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Hm.
Flipping open his phone, he'll send a quick text.]
Ahhhmiiii
I got your present!! And it's not even Christmas!
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3/19 we're backdating boys;
Hey, Crow? Are you free to talk?
[A pause, then a desperate flurry of messages.]
Sorry that sounds bad doesn't it
Not about you! Promise
Just stressed about something
Need to vent before I figure out how to deal with this
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Jesus Christ Rean
Don't do this to my poor old heart! HAHA
Of course I'm good to talk. Want to do it in person or over phone or what?
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after press x to raina;
But if you had any thoughts on anything else I'm all ears
[A bit of time passes while he texts Elliot, at which point he comes back.]
Like... say if I did something like this. What would you say to me? Because that's basically what it is. Me trying to get something into a skull that's just like mine, but slightly thicker.
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It's a good plan. She's used to you being her second musketeer, and she knows she can deflect the conversation if she's sarcastic enough or throws a meme out there
Good strategy, but she's far from a pro, especially when you can see right through it
[A pause.]
You're your own best reference. What convinced you to come back to us?
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This is false accusation and I won't tolerate it
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post-raina confrontation;
Even so, Rean's feeling pretty drained by the time he makes it over to Crow's. He slips in behind someone else entering Crow's building, thanking them for holding the door with a tired smile before stepping into the elevator and leaning back against the wall with a sigh.
It's a short ride up, and from there, he practically goes on autopilot to Crow's door. He raps his knuckles gently against it as a warning before trying the knob, and as promised, it's unlocked for him.]
Hey, Crow. [And quickly closing the door behind him to prevent the cat from escaping, although Pachinko seems far more interested in nuzzling up against Rean's legs as he trots over.] Hey, Patchy.
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Truth be told, he was a little nervous. Rean seemed to be a ball of nerves on the phone last they talked, and with Raina as sensitive as she is, who knows how things would have turned out.
The ice in his veins slowly thaws at Rean's greeting, at least.]
I take it things were smooth sailin'?
[The hints of relief on Rean's face are more than evident.]
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4/5, 4:45am;
Crow puts up no resistance. Distantly, Rean knows he can't, but he refuses to acknowledge it.
"Heh. Right where I... shot Osborne, too..." Even like this, Crow's cracking jokes. "Karma's a bitch, huh?" He's coughing, his voice weaker than Rean's ever heard it. There's blood staining the front of his clothing, with the blossoming dark red gore seeming to unfurl a little further with every passing second. "Sorry, Rean. Looks like I'm not gonna be able to keep that promise after all... Towa and Gelica and George are gonna have to..."
Crow's straining to make the words out, and from what seems like far away Rean can hear his classmates begging him to stay quiet. Rean joins in, his eyes welled with tears and his own voice trembling.
"It's okay! That doesn't matter right now!" He shakes his head, his hand coming to rest atop Crow's arm in some vague attempt to comfort... Crow? Himself? He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything.
There are more voices, from his classmates, from a woman in blue, from his instructor. None of them clearly register. He hears something, vaguely, about being pierced through the heart. The bespectacled girl in front of them, her hands glowing and outstretched, sounds like she's in tears.
"It's not working..." Crow coughs again, thick and wet and awful in ways Rean can't even describe, then acknowledges the girl.
"Thanks, Emma... and you, kitty. At least this way... I can say my goodbyes." Rean finds himself shaking his head again, his hands trembling, his voice desperate.
"No... don't talk like that..." As if that will somehow change this, as if they're both not fully aware of how their fairy tale ends. To that, Crow smiles up at Rean, his eyes as gentle as Rean always wanted them to be, but at the exact wrong moment. He reaches his non-bloodied hand up to run through Rean's hair, tenderly.
"I swear... you're such a spoiled kid sometimes..."
Crow turns his attention to the others, and speaks to each of them in turn. Rean can't even make out the words, can't make out anything but the vague sound of Crow's voice and his heart drumming in his ears; can't even see him, only a tear-blurred mass with that awful red and his skin too pale, and—
"Hey, now... what's with the long faces?" How can he sound like nothing's wrong?
"But..." Rean wants to point it out, but the words fail him. Crow seems fine with that, continuing on.
"You're all going to be in for some... tough times ahead..." It's becoming clearer with each passing word how hard it's becoming for him to speak. Rean wants to scream, but the sound doesn't come. Crow closes his eyes, and for this single moment, he looks regretful. "I can't go any farther now..." His eyes reopen, re-focused. "But you can. So keep going forward..."
With the last of his strength, he raises his arm to point vaguely into the distance, staring out along with it like he's seeing something the rest of them can't. Perhaps he is.
"Relentlessly, without looking back..." One last soft, pained laugh. "If you do... I'm... sure..."
His voice fades, his arm falling to rest at his side with one final exhale. Rean feels his body go limp in his arms, and his eyes widen, tears rolling down his cheeks.
And so those tears continue when he blinks open his eyes to find himself in his bed, staring blankly at the dormitory wall. A memory, something in the back of his mind tells him, but that doesn't stem the flow of tears, doesn't ease the throbbing ache in his chest.
His body moves on autopilot, now, as he sits up and picks up his phone. He's vaguely aware that he's moving around his room as he flicks open his contacts screen to dial someone.
Crow 💙
He brings the phone to his ear as he kicks off his pajama pants, pulling on a pair of jeans. It rings, over and over, the sound distant and hollow, until—
"Yo, Crow Armbrust here. Talk to me and I'll hit you up when I got the time." Beep.
Damn it. He hangs up, immediately going to try again as he shoves his feet into his boots and kneels down to tie them, holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder.
Why are you even trying? He's not going to answer, you know that. Because he's—
Because he's asleep, Rean cuts off that train of thought. What time is it, even? He didn't even look, but he knows it's a time no sane person would be awake. And that's going by Crow's standards, not his own.
He's shrugging on his jacket when he gets the voicemail message again, walking absently toward the door and going through the motions to lock it. From there, he doesn't even think twice as he makes his way toward Crow's apartment building.
There are still people on the streets, even at this hour – it's a city, after all. Still, Rean ignores them, laser-focused on his own destination. He tries calling once more as he walks, only to get the voicemail again.
Maybe the fourth time's the charm. He's almost reached the building, now, and at this hour it's unlikely he's going to be able to slip in with someone else. Even if he could, he doesn't have a key.
Come on, Crow, pick up...]
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No, Eren. There is no extra credit in getting his ass kicked.
When the first call goes to voicemail, he internally sighs in relief, feeling that'd be the end of it, as he readies himself to go back to his 1.5 hours of slumber.
And that's when the phone goes off again.
Persistent, he muses, eyes shutting tight as he hopes that maybe two voicemails will get the message across to the dumbass. IT'S FRIDAY, EREN. JEEZ.
Once the buzzing stops, he sighs again, Pachinko getting up to go feed himself in the process. Seems like the phone had gotten him up for the day....must be nice when you're a cat and can sleep whenever you want.
When the phone starts buzzing the third time, Crow finally lifts his head from the pillow, staring blearily at the phone that lay on his nightstand. Okay, that settles it. Something was wrong, and he clumsily feels his way over to it in order to see just what was so important.
That's when he saw.
Rean ❤️
He immediately hits 'accept' on the screen and holds it up to his ear.]
Mmmnn~
[His voice sounds as groggy as he probably looks, the hints of a tired smile practically heard.]
Talk to me.
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Late but lbr is Crow getting any sleep this week;
Oh. Yeah. He did that. Yikes. He didn't think he was entirely wrong, but man...not his best.
After stewing in anxiety and guilt for awhile, he eventually puts the phone aside, finishes up the edits himself and submits it to the assignment inbox. Is he happy about it? No. He knows there's something off about the piece that he couldn't solve himself. But he deserved that and he won't get the grade back for awhile, so that's something for future Elliot to worry about. Present Elliot had more pressing matters and was grabbing that phone again. ]
Sorry I was a crappy friend earlier.
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Nights he had the image of Eren throwing it like an alarm clock.
So when he gets the text, he's up playing a connect-3 game he found when the text shows up.
And while there is irritation behind the situation, Crow had more or less cooled off about the situation. A little bitter, but nothing he wouldn't get over.
That is, until he reads Elliot's text. Don't do this to him man, he's a bleeding heart for you suckers with self esteem issues]
And here I thought you skipped town for the week
C'mon, 'crappy' is a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it?
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See, I would, but that goes against our agreement of 'Crow gets the baby at night'
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post-walkening WITH THE RIGHT LOVE INTEREST THIS TIME,
Hey, Crow. How are things going?
Wow cheating on him already
He'd gone out and gotten Rean a little something...but with Rean having plans with Elliot that day, he'd opted to wait til after their walk.
Rean just beat him to the punch.]
Oh, it's been going
Ragnarok is aptly named, that's for sure
blame his player's stupidity, not him
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during retrospec post
...Ah. Right.
Rather than respond much in the thread itself, although he does tap out a cursory reply, he speaks up, softly.]
...mm. Easier said than done, though, you know?
Because if it happened with you... I really don't know how well I'd be able to keep moving forward.
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Crow leans over him, reaching over to play with his hair softly.]
I didn't say it'd be easy. But...
[He chuckles.]
You have a whole life after that, Rean. You have no idea what you'd be changing.
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let’s kinkshame
and eren has done the honors of offering not only his homemade celery sticks with cream cheese and rice cakes with red pepper guacamole dip (and you’re going to like his healthy food) as a snack, he’s setting up their table with flash cards. medical edition. he looks focused while he sets them up for both to play like some two player card game, in the comfort of eren’s apartment and dogs outside so they aren’t bothered.
it’s peaceful. nothing but the sound of celery crunching and eren softly grunting to himself to make crow’s round an expert mode. ]
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He'd told him to 'give him his worst', after all, and he may be only slightly regretting it. His head felt like it was bursting after all that studying they did just to WARM UP.
But Eren's grunts are weird. Eren is weird.
So his mind's wandering as he leans his head back, white hair draping over his eyes. It's not for a few more moments before he speaks up--]
...
So, just between us, how often do you and Elliot do it?
[WELL. THAT'S A CHANGE OF SUBJECT.]
Rough estimate.
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friday, after crow's night class
Cuddled up on the couch with Pachinko and just kind of zoning out as he streams videos, it's easy for Rean to doze off as he awaits his boyfriend's return.
He recognizes the glass of the Pantagruel's windows almost immediately. It's not the first time he's seen this memory in his dreams. It plays out the same as always, and for the most part, despite seeing the events through his past self's eyes, Rean feels more or less like an observer.
Except this time, the memory doesn't end when Crow's about to tell the story. And with that realization, any distance Rean had from his past self is instantly removed, and his "dream" is suddenly vividly real.
He listens intently, hanging on to every word. Feeling tears prick at his eyes, his body trembling and his chest tightening further and further.
The Crow in his memory turns to him, flashing him a wink and one of his usual devilish smiles, but it never reaches his eyes.
"...So it's only when that's done that my game is truly over."
Rean's stomach just about flips. So that's why he's with the Noble Alliance, going through and doing all this...
Crow's smile softens, and he steps over to close some of the distance between himself and Rean. He reaches up to pat Rean gently on the head, fingers running through his hair and saying
"Hey there, sleeping beauty..."
Wait, what? That doesn't fit in with this at all—
Rean finds himself blinking his eyes open, his eyes a bit glassy from tears in this life as well. He's blinking up at his boyfriend, who's smiling down at him far more genuinely, far more sweetly than the Crow in his memories.
Rean's voice cracks a little as he speaks, his throat still feeling tight. Even so, there's a tiny smile playing on his lips, too.]
...hey. Welcome home.
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Rean understood.
So when he got home, seeing his boyfriend propped up against some pillows holding their cat was exactly what he expected to come home to. Shrugging off his shoulder bag and removing his shoes, he makes his way over to the two, Pachinko leaving Rean's arms to go greet him and hop on his shoulder as per tradition, the distinct 'welcome home' purr and everything.]
Heh, missed you too, buddy. Looks like you were pretty happy watching some vids with Rean.
[Speaking of, he'll reach over and brush some hair out of his eyes, gentle enough to nudge him awake.]
Hey there, sleeping beauty...
[Rean's eyes flutter awake not more than a second after, welcoming him home with a smile. That same smile that made him practically skipping his way home.]
Sorry I'm a bit late.
[But his smile's quick to fade, noticing those glassy eyes with tears pooling at the corners.]
...Rean?
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