[Crow's eyes close happily, letting the kiss press against his lips as his own pull into a smile. Ever since that day on the swingset, Crow had felt so comfortable opening up to Rean.
Problems didn't seem like problems. Just minor updates and fixes.
Obtainable things.
Things they both could work towards, in the end.]
Sounds like a plan. I'm starving anyway.
[He takes his plate, starting to make his way over to the couch.]
I'd offer you something, but you're probably stuffed. Still, drinks are in the usual place.
Yeah, pretty much. I'm good for now, though, thanks.
[Rean follows him back over, seating himself beside Crow. He's quiet for a minute, letting Crow eat and letting himself drift into his thoughts. He's still not feeling quite settled, and it's not entirely uncertainty for his sister's future.
Pachinko hops up into his lap, hoping to get at more of Crow's eggs, and Rean holds him back with one hand as he pets him with the other.
With a little sigh, his gaze still focused on Pachinko, he speaks up again.]
...mm. Seriously, though... it's okay if you don't like Raina. ...I already know Elliot doesn't.
[It's not exactly something Crow can read right off of Rean's face, but there is some sort of vibe that things weren't completely wrapped up just yet. He can only fathom what, but he figured Rean would bring it up to him sooner or later.
For now, Crow looks over at Pachinko, leaning his face in to boop their noses together, a small smile on his lips.
The little freeloader.
Only when he pulls back up does he hear what's bugging Rean, and...he's not too surprised by what he hears.]
If you want my honest answer...[He swallows his egg, twirling a bit on his fork idly.] I can't dislike her--I don't really know her.
[A pause, wondering if he should bring things up. But the lesson he just learned is fresh in his mind. Be honest with him, Crow.]
She's never contacted me once since she got the app. You know, other than my dating ad for you. Not even when you ghosted, not to see how I was doing. Hell, I don't even think she's said anything about us dating to me.
[Not even a 'congrats'.]
So she's definitely sending a message to me, whether she intends to or not.
[He's quiet a moment, before putting his feet up on the coffee table.]
...That's fair. [He's not... entirely surprised to hear all that, but it does bother him a little. ...He just needs to give her time. Nothing can just magically be fixed, he knows that much.] If it helps, she has congratulated me. And I talked to her before I found you in Magatus, and she outright told me she supported me if I were to decide to act on my feelings for you.
So... I can't say I have any idea how she feels about you, but she's definitely okay with us. It's something, at least.
[He pets Pachinko absently.]
Yeah. To me, too. When I was texting him to tell him what was going on, he got really... I don't know. Testy? To be fair, I could be reading into it. You can't really get tone out of text messages easily. And it's fair, I got the impression he was pretty upset with her for being "mean to you" [Elliot's words, not his!] over Love Live...
But I was trying to explain some of what she's told me. And... well, it was supposed to be a secret between her and I, but I've already told Eren and Elliot, I may as well tell you... promise you won't bring it up to her? [Sigh.] Anyway...
She's got trust issues, apparently? Like.. she says she can't trust anyone, no matter how much she wants to. And... well, before a little bit ago, that included me, too.
[...He is still happy that's not the case anymore. But.]
But when I told Elliot that, he acted like it was obvious she wouldn't trust me. Because I'm her brother, so it's not like I'm her best friend or anything... except, you know. Growing up, we were. And there are still things it's just easier to talk to her about...
Elliot just said there's "a lot to unpack" there and wished me luck, basically, but I can't shake the feeling that... I don't know, he thinks less of me now?
[...]
...Sorry. I just kind of rambled there, didn't I? I don't know if anything I just said even made sense.
[Crow listens, his eyes kept on Rean the whole time as he holds his fork. over the plate. It's not a shock that she approves of the two of them together--Crow understands at the very least that the attack on him was 90% Retrospec's fault. Raina's objections or no. But it is mildly surprising, and his raised eyebrows show that silently.]
Well, we've all gotta start somewhere.
[Those brows crease at Rean's explanation, putting some thought into it a little before giving his opinion. When Rean finishes, a hand reaches up to ruffle that hair lightly, it's touch affectionate and gentle.]
You're fine.
[But he'll clear his throat, because he can kind of see what's going on here. Maybe not to every nook and cranny, but as to what's going on with Elliot? And why things might be like oil and water between him and Raina? He's got a lead, at least.]
I'll have to thank him for looking out for me. Guy's always got people on his mind...
[But more to the point, he stabs a shrimp with his fork.]
They're both two different types of intelligent. Elliot's got emotional intelligence down to a science...and while Raina might be good at analyzing things...[He smirks a little as he says this.] She can't read the room worth shit.
Oil and water. No wonder they don't mix.
[At least it's said lighthearted enough.]
Keep in mind this is coming from an only child. Fie was the closest I ever got to a 'sibling', and she was a different breed all her own.
Elliot's a guy who's got a lot of siblings, either blood related or by marriage. Cousins, too. And not to say he doesn't know what you're feeling, but I don't think he really gets the idea of only having 'each other', like you and Raina did. I get that...Pops was really all I had back home, too.
Neither of you are really wrong, in a sense. Raina can be your best friend...you just have to know when to be her best friend, and when to be her annoying big brother who makes her go..OUTSIDE...
[A pause, letting himself have a little chuckle.]
Seriously, though. Just remember: No one says you have to have just one best friend. Or that your best friends have to meet the same criteria. Human relationships aren't something you can just put in boxes with neat little labels. You'll find yourself deciding for hours on where everyone goes.
...
Bah, now I got off rambling. Look what you made me do now.
[Rean listens quietly, just keeping up with his petting and keeping Pachinko away from Crow's food. No, Patchy, that's dad's, you have plenty of your own food.]
...Yeah, I can see what you mean by oil and water. And really, it's... well, it's not fine, but I can live with the idea that he doesn't like her? It's that I feel like he's judging me because I do that's rubbing me wrong.
But... yeah. You're right. It's a hard balance to strike, and I'm trying. I made it through today, right? So now it's just... steps toward the future.
[He smiles a little at the last point about best friends not meeting the same criteria, though – looks like that helps.]
I hadn't thought of it that way. That makes a lot more sense to me than what Elliot was saying... he asked me to pick between you and Raina which one was my "best friend," and that's just. Really weird to me? I don't see you guys in the same light at all. Trying to compare you feels impossible.
[He sighs with a little smile at Crow's "bah."]
Aha... Sorry. Here.
[He leans over to give him a little kiss on the cheek.]
Bonus, to make up for it. Don't let your food get cold because of me.
[Okay but consider: he needs MORE food. He's practically wasting away, Rean! He needs a shrimp!]
Give it time. Raina's only just starting to branch out from having only you as her confidant. She's gotta make friends of her own first, like you did. And there's no rule saying she needs to have us as her friends just because they're her brother's friends. She doesn't know us, and we don't really know her either, so we're both a little too quick to make assumptions. Don't let that judgement get to you, if that's what you feel like it is. You know her better than anyone else.
[He smiles into his plate, eyes closing.]
Haha, aw, the good ol 'choose one best friend' scenario.
That's not fair. You've known Raina your whole life. I don't get a free pass just cause you started dating me.
[Warmth spreads through him at that cheek kiss, though, smiling as he shovels the last of that egg into his mouth.]
Besides, I don't think I could make that decision either, if it came between you and Astrid.
Everything Crow says seems to unravel a little knot of tension in Rean, though, and he looks significantly calmer by the time he's done.]
...Thanks, Crow. I really needed to hear that.
[He leans his head against Crow's shoulder a little, waiting for him to finish swallowing before he makes good on the promise of another kiss. He can still feel the hint of Crow's almost-stubble against his lips, if he concentrates.]
And just... mm. Thanks for talking through all of this with me in general. I still feel a little bad for shoving all this onto you, after everything, but...
[He puts that last bite of egg into his mouth, setting the plate down on the coffee table as if to announce to Pachinko that no, there is no more food left. That cat, seeing this as a fool's mission, starts to move off of Rean's lap so that he can curl up by his side.
Crow's arm curls around Rean's shoulder, pulling him in next to him as he situates himself on the couch.]
C'mon, don't go feeling guilty cause you ran to your BOYFRIEND to talk about your issues. Better than you keeping it bottled up and internalizing everything.
That's how you get Raina's problem in the first place.
I know it...! That's why I'm talking to you, it's just... mmmrgh.
[He buries his head in where it rests, sighing as he tries to sort out his thoughts.]
There's a reason I said we both need to be honest. It's gonna take some getting used to from me, too.
[He's so used to brushing everything off with a smile, insisting everything is fine. Actually just... talking about the things that bother him is strange, almost strange enough that he wants to flinch away from it. But no, he knows at least a little better. So, apologizing will have to do for now, until he gets used to it.
Without anything else to really say on the matter, Rean just lets himself relax in Crow's half-embrace, laying an arm across Crow's middle to loosely wrap around him in turn.
[His voice trails off playfully. He's sure he'll get used to these kinds of gestures someday, but for now, he's never gonna get tired of soaking in the moment.]
You're gonna sit here and suffer, is what you're gonna do. Mwa ha ha.
[Oh, he's so evil. There's definitely so much effort behind that gloating and everything.
He lets his eyes slip closed, melting into Crow's warmth and touch. It's like he never knew what he'd been missing until he had it...
He's quiet for a long time, just enjoying the moment and enjoying Crow's company. Eventually, though, he speaks again, cracking his eyes open just a little.]
Three words that would have sent Crow running for the hills were it any other person. But when Rean said them, there's a rush of emotion in his veins. Relief? Joy? Elation? Maybe a mix of all three. He really can't explain what it feels like...
It's like trying to tell someone what the color blue is.
But he knows one thing for sure: he has never wanted to hear something like that so desperately, and it shows in his face when he meets Rean's gaze. Those red eyes of his are surprised, but warm.
His breath hitches lightly, suddenly at a loss for words as he closes his eyes to compose himself.
Well, not a COMPLETE loss for words. The answer was obvious, wasn't it?]
You really, do, huh...
[Those eyes open again, smiling.]
Then that makes this simple.
I love you too, Rean.
[There's an awkward, nervous chuckle, like those words practically tingle his lips.]
Never thought I'd say that to anyone...but here I am. Head over heels for the guy I tricked into buying me a coffee.
[Rean's not sure what to expect after those words leave his tongue, but any nerves are quickly assuaged by the warmth in Crow's expression.
That surprise, the little catch in his breath... Rean's paying acute attention, and none of that slips by him. But when coupled with that gentleness, that smile... Rean knows full well the words that follow won't hurt him.
His own heart floods with emotion when he hears his feelings returned. His own breath catches in his throat, and if Crow looks now, he'll see that emotion reflected in Rean's soft lavender eyes, practically dancing. Trying to explain colors to the blind, indeed... all Rean knows is that he's never felt this light in his life. Never before has he felt so much like he belongs exactly where he is.
Crow's laughter earns some in return, Rean cuddling back into his previous position and nuzzling Crow's shoulder a little. He can't help it, he's just so happy...]
Ahaha... can't say I saw it coming either. Stole my money and my heart...
The moment he sees Rean's face, the way his eyes seem a shade lighter, like the soft purple edges of a flame, he knows he's made the right choice. If just a few simple words could make him this happy, he'd say them as many times as he could.
Rean really deserved that, after all.
Crow's other arm reaches over to hold Rean up against him, both of their laughs now in harmony as he tries to keep his smile from hurting his face.
He's failing miserably.]
I borrowed that money, and I'll be in debt for as long as I live.
[The arm that's been draped across Crow all this time embraces Crow more tightly to match.
This is the feeling he'd been chasing when he saw that smile in the old photograph. This feeling of being truly happy, of being loved, of being complete.]
Your endless "borrowing" spree finally caught up to you, that's all!
[Another nuzzle.]
It's all right. I don't think I'll ever be wanting it back. And it looks like I got yours, so I'd say we made an even trade in the end.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Problems didn't seem like problems. Just minor updates and fixes.
Obtainable things.
Things they both could work towards, in the end.]
Sounds like a plan. I'm starving anyway.
[He takes his plate, starting to make his way over to the couch.]
I'd offer you something, but you're probably stuffed. Still, drinks are in the usual place.
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[Rean follows him back over, seating himself beside Crow. He's quiet for a minute, letting Crow eat and letting himself drift into his thoughts. He's still not feeling quite settled, and it's not entirely uncertainty for his sister's future.
Pachinko hops up into his lap, hoping to get at more of Crow's eggs, and Rean holds him back with one hand as he pets him with the other.
With a little sigh, his gaze still focused on Pachinko, he speaks up again.]
...mm. Seriously, though... it's okay if you don't like Raina. ...I already know Elliot doesn't.
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For now, Crow looks over at Pachinko, leaning his face in to boop their noses together, a small smile on his lips.
The little freeloader.
Only when he pulls back up does he hear what's bugging Rean, and...he's not too surprised by what he hears.]
If you want my honest answer...[He swallows his egg, twirling a bit on his fork idly.] I can't dislike her--I don't really know her.
[A pause, wondering if he should bring things up. But the lesson he just learned is fresh in his mind. Be honest with him, Crow.]
She's never contacted me once since she got the app. You know, other than my dating ad for you. Not even when you ghosted, not to see how I was doing. Hell, I don't even think she's said anything about us dating to me.
[Not even a 'congrats'.]
So she's definitely sending a message to me, whether she intends to or not.
[He's quiet a moment, before putting his feet up on the coffee table.]
Elliot's a surprise, though.
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So... I can't say I have any idea how she feels about you, but she's definitely okay with us. It's something, at least.
[He pets Pachinko absently.]
Yeah. To me, too. When I was texting him to tell him what was going on, he got really... I don't know. Testy? To be fair, I could be reading into it. You can't really get tone out of text messages easily. And it's fair, I got the impression he was pretty upset with her for being "mean to you" [Elliot's words, not his!] over Love Live...
But I was trying to explain some of what she's told me. And... well, it was supposed to be a secret between her and I, but I've already told Eren and Elliot, I may as well tell you... promise you won't bring it up to her? [Sigh.] Anyway...
She's got trust issues, apparently? Like.. she says she can't trust anyone, no matter how much she wants to. And... well, before a little bit ago, that included me, too.
[...He is still happy that's not the case anymore. But.]
But when I told Elliot that, he acted like it was obvious she wouldn't trust me. Because I'm her brother, so it's not like I'm her best friend or anything... except, you know. Growing up, we were. And there are still things it's just easier to talk to her about...
Elliot just said there's "a lot to unpack" there and wished me luck, basically, but I can't shake the feeling that... I don't know, he thinks less of me now?
[...]
...Sorry. I just kind of rambled there, didn't I? I don't know if anything I just said even made sense.
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Well, we've all gotta start somewhere.
[Those brows crease at Rean's explanation, putting some thought into it a little before giving his opinion. When Rean finishes, a hand reaches up to ruffle that hair lightly, it's touch affectionate and gentle.]
You're fine.
[But he'll clear his throat, because he can kind of see what's going on here. Maybe not to every nook and cranny, but as to what's going on with Elliot? And why things might be like oil and water between him and Raina? He's got a lead, at least.]
I'll have to thank him for looking out for me. Guy's always got people on his mind...
[But more to the point, he stabs a shrimp with his fork.]
They're both two different types of intelligent. Elliot's got emotional intelligence down to a science...and while Raina might be good at analyzing things...[He smirks a little as he says this.] She can't read the room worth shit.
Oil and water. No wonder they don't mix.
[At least it's said lighthearted enough.]
Keep in mind this is coming from an only child. Fie was the closest I ever got to a 'sibling', and she was a different breed all her own.
Elliot's a guy who's got a lot of siblings, either blood related or by marriage. Cousins, too. And not to say he doesn't know what you're feeling, but I don't think he really gets the idea of only having 'each other', like you and Raina did. I get that...Pops was really all I had back home, too.
Neither of you are really wrong, in a sense. Raina can be your best friend...you just have to know when to be her best friend, and when to be her annoying big brother who makes her go..OUTSIDE...
[A pause, letting himself have a little chuckle.]
Seriously, though. Just remember: No one says you have to have just one best friend. Or that your best friends have to meet the same criteria. Human relationships aren't something you can just put in boxes with neat little labels. You'll find yourself deciding for hours on where everyone goes.
...
Bah, now I got off rambling. Look what you made me do now.
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...Yeah, I can see what you mean by oil and water. And really, it's... well, it's not fine, but I can live with the idea that he doesn't like her? It's that I feel like he's judging me because I do that's rubbing me wrong.
But... yeah. You're right. It's a hard balance to strike, and I'm trying. I made it through today, right? So now it's just... steps toward the future.
[He smiles a little at the last point about best friends not meeting the same criteria, though – looks like that helps.]
I hadn't thought of it that way. That makes a lot more sense to me than what Elliot was saying... he asked me to pick between you and Raina which one was my "best friend," and that's just. Really weird to me? I don't see you guys in the same light at all. Trying to compare you feels impossible.
[He sighs with a little smile at Crow's "bah."]
Aha... Sorry. Here.
[He leans over to give him a little kiss on the cheek.]
Bonus, to make up for it. Don't let your food get cold because of me.
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Give it time. Raina's only just starting to branch out from having only you as her confidant. She's gotta make friends of her own first, like you did. And there's no rule saying she needs to have us as her friends just because they're her brother's friends. She doesn't know us, and we don't really know her either, so we're both a little too quick to make assumptions. Don't let that judgement get to you, if that's what you feel like it is. You know her better than anyone else.
[He smiles into his plate, eyes closing.]
Haha, aw, the good ol 'choose one best friend' scenario.
That's not fair. You've known Raina your whole life. I don't get a free pass just cause you started dating me.
[Warmth spreads through him at that cheek kiss, though, smiling as he shovels the last of that egg into his mouth.]
Besides, I don't think I could make that decision either, if it came between you and Astrid.
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Everything Crow says seems to unravel a little knot of tension in Rean, though, and he looks significantly calmer by the time he's done.]
...Thanks, Crow. I really needed to hear that.
[He leans his head against Crow's shoulder a little, waiting for him to finish swallowing before he makes good on the promise of another kiss. He can still feel the hint of Crow's almost-stubble against his lips, if he concentrates.]
And just... mm. Thanks for talking through all of this with me in general. I still feel a little bad for shoving all this onto you, after everything, but...
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[He puts that last bite of egg into his mouth, setting the plate down on the coffee table as if to announce to Pachinko that no, there is no more food left. That cat, seeing this as a fool's mission, starts to move off of Rean's lap so that he can curl up by his side.
Crow's arm curls around Rean's shoulder, pulling him in next to him as he situates himself on the couch.]
C'mon, don't go feeling guilty cause you ran to your BOYFRIEND to talk about your issues. Better than you keeping it bottled up and internalizing everything.
That's how you get Raina's problem in the first place.
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[He buries his head in where it rests, sighing as he tries to sort out his thoughts.]
There's a reason I said we both need to be honest. It's gonna take some getting used to from me, too.
[He's so used to brushing everything off with a smile, insisting everything is fine. Actually just... talking about the things that bother him is strange, almost strange enough that he wants to flinch away from it. But no, he knows at least a little better. So, apologizing will have to do for now, until he gets used to it.
Without anything else to really say on the matter, Rean just lets himself relax in Crow's half-embrace, laying an arm across Crow's middle to loosely wrap around him in turn.
This is where he lives now.]
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[His hand reaches up to ruffle that black hair.]
But I think we both have to tell each other it's okay too. We've both got pretty thick skulls. Takes ages for us to really get things hammered in.
[It's said affectionately at least, his eyes closing slightly as he feels those arms wrap around him.]
Mmm.
Now I'm never gonna wanna get up.
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[He sighs, but quirks into a smile when Crow continues. He tightens his grip a little before relaxing once more.]
Your first mistake was assuming I was ever gonna let you up.
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[His voice trails off playfully. He's sure he'll get used to these kinds of gestures someday, but for now, he's never gonna get tired of soaking in the moment.]
Whatever will I do...~
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[Oh, he's so evil. There's definitely so much effort behind that gloating and everything.
He lets his eyes slip closed, melting into Crow's warmth and touch. It's like he never knew what he'd been missing until he had it...
He's quiet for a long time, just enjoying the moment and enjoying Crow's company. Eventually, though, he speaks again, cracking his eyes open just a little.]
...Hey, Crow?
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But when Rean speaks, that head stirs, eyes opening to train themselves onto the man.]
Mm?
Somethin' on your mind, still?
1/2
[He takes a breath to steady himself. He can still back out now...]
2/2
...I love you.
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Three words that would have sent Crow running for the hills were it any other person. But when Rean said them, there's a rush of emotion in his veins. Relief? Joy? Elation? Maybe a mix of all three. He really can't explain what it feels like...
It's like trying to tell someone what the color blue is.
But he knows one thing for sure: he has never wanted to hear something like that so desperately, and it shows in his face when he meets Rean's gaze. Those red eyes of his are surprised, but warm.
His breath hitches lightly, suddenly at a loss for words as he closes his eyes to compose himself.
Well, not a COMPLETE loss for words. The answer was obvious, wasn't it?]
You really, do, huh...
[Those eyes open again, smiling.]
Then that makes this simple.
I love you too, Rean.
[There's an awkward, nervous chuckle, like those words practically tingle his lips.]
Never thought I'd say that to anyone...but here I am. Head over heels for the guy I tricked into buying me a coffee.
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That surprise, the little catch in his breath... Rean's paying acute attention, and none of that slips by him. But when coupled with that gentleness, that smile... Rean knows full well the words that follow won't hurt him.
His own heart floods with emotion when he hears his feelings returned. His own breath catches in his throat, and if Crow looks now, he'll see that emotion reflected in Rean's soft lavender eyes, practically dancing. Trying to explain colors to the blind, indeed... all Rean knows is that he's never felt this light in his life. Never before has he felt so much like he belongs exactly where he is.
Crow's laughter earns some in return, Rean cuddling back into his previous position and nuzzling Crow's shoulder a little. He can't help it, he's just so happy...]
Ahaha... can't say I saw it coming either. Stole my money and my heart...
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The moment he sees Rean's face, the way his eyes seem a shade lighter, like the soft purple edges of a flame, he knows he's made the right choice. If just a few simple words could make him this happy, he'd say them as many times as he could.
Rean really deserved that, after all.
Crow's other arm reaches over to hold Rean up against him, both of their laughs now in harmony as he tries to keep his smile from hurting his face.
He's failing miserably.]
I borrowed that money, and I'll be in debt for as long as I live.
As for your heart...well. Guilty as charged.
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This is the feeling he'd been chasing when he saw that smile in the old photograph. This feeling of being truly happy, of being loved, of being complete.]
Your endless "borrowing" spree finally caught up to you, that's all!
[Another nuzzle.]
It's all right. I don't think I'll ever be wanting it back. And it looks like I got yours, so I'd say we made an even trade in the end.