[Crow's arms move out of the way to make room for Rean's snuggle, hovering over him as he feels Rean's head press against his chest. Right where they both know that scar lies.
Right where something so fragile lies underneath.
The heartbeat is strong, healthy. And it pounds rhythmically against his chest and into Rean's ear. It's stable, but more importantly, it's alive.
Arms wrap around Rean gently, pulling him close into an embrace as Crow's chin moves to rest on top of his head.]
[Rean relaxes a little further as Crow holds him, but he doesn't say anything for a while longer.
Crow is alive. Crow is alive, and here with him. Every beat of Crow's heart reaffirms that for him.
After a few minutes, he takes in a shaky breath before finally speaking up.]
...I watched you bleed out in my arms.
[One of his hands clutches at the fabric of Crow's nightshirt unconsciously.]
We kept asking you not to talk, but there wasn't any way to stop the blood. That thing had pierced your heart, and all the witches could do was numb the pain for you.
You apologized to me for not being able to keep a promise. ...Called me a spoiled kid when I asked you not to talk like you were going to die, even though we both knew.
And then the last thing you said was for us to keep going. "Forward, relentlessly, without looking back..."
[His voice is wavering again, like it was on the phone.
He'd already known the Crow in his memories would meet an untimely end. And the reassurance that the Crow in this lifetime is still here, still alive and going strong, it helps.
But the memory is still too recent, too real. Even now, he has to open his eyes to focus on anything else. The image of Crow looking up at him as he runs a hand through his hair one last time, the light slowly leaving his eyes and what's left filled with every apology he could never say aloud... it haunts him if he lets his eyes close again, strikes him like something piercing his own heart.]
[Crow's eyes snap open when Rean speaks, muscles going rigid and his fingers pressing lightly against his back. He had a sinking feeling that this had been the reason for Rean's visit, but he decided to let him be the one to tell him.
It was...bittersweet, to find out. The death itself...it sounded awful. Pierced through the heart by god knows what, being told there was nothing they could do except allow him time to say goodbye.
Teasing Rean to the very end, as if this wasn't the end of his life, and yet completely knowing it was.
Rean's words sound almost nostalgic in a way he can't describe. As if the memory were fresher than the others, even if it wasn't exactly his memory being triggered.
His breath hitches a little as he takes it all in, resting his cheek on the top of Rean's head as he listens.]
Tried to sound cool up to the end...heh.
Sounds like something I would've done.
[He nuzzles into that hair, soothing himself with the scent from Rean's shampoo as he collects his thoughts. No wonder he'd run over in such a fuss.]
But I'm here now, alright? I'm here now and nothing's going to change that.
[Rean offers a bitter, barking little laugh at Crow "trying to sound cool up to the end."]
...Yeah. You... all the memories I have of you, even after everything... you always were an ass like that.
[He could not sound any more appreciative of that if he tried.]
And I know... I know. That's why I'm... [He nuzzles against Crow's chest a little, as if to illustrate what he's trying to do. How he's trying to ground himself.] I just... I'm so glad you are here.
[There's something about earning that title that has Crow smiling, even if it's through the jabbing sadness.]
I'm the most dedicated ass you're ever gonna find.
[He knows it's affectionate.]
...
[Crow falls silent when he hears that, though, eyes widening slightly as his grip on Rean squeezes just a little bit. He knew Rean was happy, but he never realized just how much. And also...how happy HE was. Sure, Crow didn't live a TERRIBLE life, if you asked him. He was well loved by his grandfather, he made friends easily, even if he kept them at arms distance when he was younger. But knowing that there's one person in the whole world who listens to his heart and tells him he's so happy he's alive?
Crow smiles, his eyes glassy as he snuggles closer into the man.
Heh, so this is what it's like to be this happy.
The biggest thing he had to atone for in this life? Leaving Rean in their past life. And he'd do his damn hardest to make sure he stays happy.]
Yeah, you are. I got lucky, finding someone this devoted to being a pain...
[And while he's mostly kidding, there's a part of that that's as honest as can be.
There hasn't been a day that's gone by since Crow became an active part of his life that Rean didn't feel genuinely blessed. If that feeling's changed at all, it's only that it's grown stronger.
Rean feels Crow's grip on him tighten, and he can't say he minds at all. He wonders what Crow must be thinking, having to hear all of this. He clearly doesn't remember for himself, not yet. And Rean felt him tense before as he was telling it, but... this is a bit different, isn't it?
He lets out a slow, still slightly shaking breath as he tries to find his center once more. When he speaks, it's barely above a whisper.]
[There's a softness to his voice that's almost uncharacteristic of him, and yet still Crow. A voice he'd only save for Rean, when they showed their most vulnerable sides to each other.
A time like this, when they just appreciated finding each other again across time and space. A one in a million chance. Even Crow wouldn't have expected those odds...
They both sit in silence for those few moments, Crow just soaking in all of Rean's warmth and touch, memorizing it. As far as he knew, this was his life now. And he was more than okay with that.
And then...
"I love you, Crow."
His eyes snap open once more, staring at the wall behind them, as if the words were still registering in his brain. It only takes a second longer for the feeling to hit him like a brick, flooding himself with a warmth he'd only vaguely remembered from years ago.
A feeling his past self probably knew, too. And one he got to experience now.
Words can't even begin to describe the feeling. They hadn't even been dating for long, and here they were, saying those words that seemed so perfect.
That's right. He still had to respond, didn't he?
Crow's fingers run through Rean's hair, lowering his head down just a little.]
[Rean knows, the minute he hears the softness in Crow's voice, that this tone isn't something anyone else is ever going to hear. A warmth blooms in his chest at that, spreading to fill him to his extremities.
For once, Rean isn't concerned when Crow doesn't respond immediately. It gives him a moment to soak in their comfortable silence as well, to commit to memory how Crow's arms feel around him and how his heartbeat has picked up its pace just a little, to savor how Crow's fingertips feel against his scalp.
Crow's voice, when it comes, is a comfort all its own. Low and soft as it validates two lifetimes worth of emotion, Rean drinks in the sound as his eyes slip closed with a soft sigh.
"Back then and now." And Rean doesn't doubt for a minute that it's true. He still can't quite shake the way Crow looked at him, running his fingers through his hair just like this. Neither of them had said it, back then, but Rean knew.
Rean's said it a lot lately, how this life is a chance to atone for the mistakes of their past. For him... the mistake he's atoning for, more than anything, is never having told Crow how he felt.
He'll make up for it. He'll say it as many times as he can, until that warmth becomes a natural part of Crow, and long past that just because he can. Because he is here, he is alive, and there is no force in this world that is going to tear the two of them apart without a hell of a fight.]
...I did, too. Back then. [A gentle admission.] But... you probably knew, didn't you?
[A lot of his past self was shrouded in mystery. But the way he went out of his way for Rean, finding him in the snow, helping him fight that giant robotic goliath...
Yeah, there was no way he didn't feel SOMETHING for him. And a part of him knew Rean's feelings too.
Maybe that's why he tried to push him away so bad when he'd betrayed them. Maybe that's why Rean's words were so painful.]
You chasing after me even when I betrayed you? No way that's normal.
Heh... I'm not sure I've ever counted as "normal," to be fair.
[Still, he nestles into his boyfriend-pillow with a sigh.]
...I knew you were lying, though. When you said it didn't matter to you. All the things I remember us doing, all the ways I remember you helping us out... it didn't make sense for you to do any of that if you didn't care about us at all. About me at all.
You were just trying to shove me away because it'd be easier than having to deal with it. But...
[He can't help the nostalgic little smile that spreads on his face, eyes warm as he moves to glance up at Crow.]
Your mistake was forgetting that I can be a royal pain, too. Enough of one to chase you down here, too.
I remember parts of my past self's time at Thors and...what he said back then when he betrayed you really hit the wrong notes. I felt his happiness back then. It was the real deal, no matter how much he tried to prove it wrong.
And how much it hurt to say it. I don't think he expected Rean Schwarzer to whittle his way into his heart like that. And there he was, regretting his actions as they unfolded but not enough to stop him.
Jokes on him...and me.
[But Rean's comment is perfectly timed.]
Haha!
[Crow's whole body vibrates from that laugh, shaking his head in mock disbelief.]
Your determination knows no bounds, Rean Schwarzer. But a man like me has to know when to fold, and you had a full hand.
[Rean grins a little, pleased with himself for earning that laugh.]
Yeah, well. I see what I want, and I can be... [His voice cracks a little as he says the next word, but he continues nonetheless.] relentless.
[He shakes his head a little, doubling as a nuzzle into Crow's chest.]
I wish I remember why he did it. He was devoted to his cause, whatever it was, but... my memory cuts out right before he told the story.
He was just as cagey as you can be now, though. Kept trying to get around telling me. Started by asking if I was interested in any of the girls...
[A beat.]
Which. Now that I think of it, is kind of like what you were trying to do in February, isn't it?
[Calling you out, Crow.]
But anyway, when I shook that off, he just tried to tell me it wasn't anything exciting, like that would change anything. Like you, before we met on that swingset...
So I can't help but think that he must have had a pretty damn good reason for doing everything he did... I mean, murder's still murder, but. I still have faith in him. In you.
Old habits die hard, huh? I know I said our meeting was fate, but I could copy off my old self's homework a little less.
[His fingers start playing around with Rean's hair, watching as it just seems to form to whatever style he wants it to have...
Looks like this is his new little thing to keep himself busy, don't mind him.]
Can't really say for sure, but I think we were both trying to do whatever we could to make sure you had a future worth goin' for.
Which, in February when our minds were all messed up by Retrospec, is probably what I thought at the time.
[But Rean's last sentence hits him, his heart jolting a little. It's strange, he can't really place why it makes his nerves stand on end... Maybe his past self was listening somewhere. If you believed in that kind of thing.]
Political assassinations don't happen over spilled tea, but I doubt it's anything all that grand.
Not that it matters, anyway. Payback was a bitch in full to him.
But.
If you remember anything about his reasons, or if your past self ever found peace, let me know.
How low is your bar, Rean? The guy who put gatorade in your rice cooker is the best decision of your past three years...
[He nuzzles into the top of Rean's hair, though, obviously feeling mutual.]
You're definitely the best I've made.
[His face falls, hand rubbing against his boyfriend's head as he bores holes into the mattress.]
I doubt it. Seems pretty much like curtains for me. Not like I was gonna become a zombie or anything. Our world might've been magic, but the undead is kinda stretchin' it.
...Hope you found a nice girl or guy though, whoever they were.
[He'll leave it at that, and not his soft brewing jealousy that he couldn't be that person. It was fine, he has Rean in this life.]
...
[Rean's question (and his quick dismissal) earn raised eyebrows, his chest exhaling in contemplation.]
Well, with everything Retrospec has thrown at us...I can't really rule it out.
Aha... ha. Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, Crow. [He's... mostly kidding. There's still a certain guilt gnawing at the back of his mind, but... mm. Now isn't the time. A little more lightheartedly, he continues.] So, I won't ask the same of you.
[...Ah. Crow took him seriously, there. He'd been joking, really...]
...I was kidding about the ghost bit, you know. I didn't mean... [He shakes his head a little again.] ...Well. If I find out anything, I already promised to let you know, right? But... if I'm honest, I think "peace" probably would be the best we can hope for. If he and I are the same... I'm not sure I'm strong enough to move on after losing someone like you.
[He goes quiet again, swallowing hard. He tries to keep his voice steady when he continues, to middling success.]
...It doesn't matter, anyway. We're here now, and... even if it's a little late, I finally got what I was after, didn't I? And we can walk forward into whatever the future holds for both of us. Without either of us leaving the other behind.
[Crow's response to his stupid question, despite Rean's urging, gets Rean's breath to hitch a little. It's almost like he's afraid of the answer.]
So... "not at first, but I do now?" Because that's more or less how I feel now, too.
So I just... wonder sometimes. ...About us. [His voice gets smaller and smaller as he goes. He's used to impassioned, corny speeches, but this is a little out of his comfort zone.] But... it's probably too early to think about anything like that, right? So... it's like I said, just forget it.
[If Rean's voice was unsure, Crow does his best to sound confident for him.]
Right, right. What's past is past and I got you fair and square! [There's a little squeeze, for confirmation.] Let's worry about those memories when the time comes, and focus on our lives now.
[That's the most either of them can hope for, and it's enough to keep Crow looking forward each day.]
That's...a good way to put it, actually. I wouldn't say I didn't believe in it, but rather I wasn't going to place any bets on it.
[But Rean pulls away from that question again, and Crow's face turns into a pout. You. Are going to come out with it, Rean. There's no time like the present.
So Crow just keeps his arms wrapped around Rean and rolls back and forth a few times, Rean's face smothered in his chest and legs locking around his like a vicegrip.]
Nuh uh! We're not forgetting it.
[He stops rolling.]
Because I think...if anything, we might just be. Too soon to tell, but a lot of evidence supports it, don't you think?
[He sounds more confident at the idea of just focusing on their lives now. Relieved.
...and then any sense of calm is ripped away from him when Crow starts rolling with him, leading Rean to yelp and flail a little.]
H-hey...!
[He's breathing a little rougher when Crow stops, pulling away a little mostly to reassure himself of his freedom. But not far - enough that he can lock his gaze with Crow's directly, his eyes a little wide and his cheeks dyed darker.]
I...
[He wasn't expecting Crow to agree with him, which is why he shied away twice. But here they are.]
...Yeah. [His gaze softens a little, and although it might be hard to quite make out the warmth of it in the darkness, it's there.] That's how I feel, too.
[There are more thoughts swirling in his mind, but... not now. He's too comforted by that answer to be too concerned with any of them, right now.
They'll work things out at their own pace, and for now, that's enough.
He shifts himself again, this time to move upward so that he can press his lips to Crow's. It's a soft kiss, but passionate all the same; his eyes flutter closed and he lingers for a moment or two, reveling in the airy feeling that's pushed aside some of his darker thoughts for the time being.
What's past is past, and they're together now. He can do things like this, or curl up against his chest and listen to his heartbeat while Crow plays with his hair, and it's okay. Everything else could come in time.]
[It's reassurance Rean needs, honestly. The two of them had their own lives to live, Retrospec or not. And they couldn't waste time worrying about their past lives when they had each other in this one.
That's all there was to it.
But Crow's eyes flicker open at that kiss, gently pressing back for as long as Rean holds it with him. There's nothing holding either of them back in this moment. There's nothing but true affection.]
Heh...good.
Now.
[Crow pulls the covers over them, reaching over to turn off his alarm that was set to go off at 6:30.]
I hope you weren't planning on going to school today, because we're long overdue for some sleep.
[Rean's already starting to mumble his words a bit, eyes slipping closed and starting to doze off himself.
It is hard not to get addicted to this warmth, this affection that envelops him like a comforting blanket. And the best thing is, he doesn't have to hold himself back.]
[And sleep they did. With each other to comfort their weary hearts and tired minds, it was safe to say that they slept in til about mid morning. Hell, it was probably Pachinko who woke them up in the end, kneading at his two favourite humans to greet the day before the noon bell rang.
Slowly and surely, they got up, had their late breakfast as promised, and mostly took it easy. Coffee and tea were made, pancakes were had, and the TV was on to give them the white noise while they went about their day. Crow had stayed in his pajamas for most of it, his trend of not wearing his bandana any longer giving him the most disastrous case of bedhead.
Not that it really changed much about his hair. It was pretty bedhead to start. With it's longer length, he'd taken to wearing it over one shoulder, like a side ponytail without the actual hair tie. It actually stayed there too, which was probably the most amazing part of it all.
It's not until around 3PM that Crow excuses himself to go put actual clothes on, coming down in his jeans and converse and slipping on a spring jacket over that tanktop.]
Alright, c'mon and get yourself lookin' beautiful. We're running errands.
[Normally he would've just said he'd handle it himself, but this one was special, and it required Rean to be there.]
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Right where something so fragile lies underneath.
The heartbeat is strong, healthy. And it pounds rhythmically against his chest and into Rean's ear. It's stable, but more importantly, it's alive.
Arms wrap around Rean gently, pulling him close into an embrace as Crow's chin moves to rest on top of his head.]
...
[He'll wait for Rean to speak first.]
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Crow is alive. Crow is alive, and here with him. Every beat of Crow's heart reaffirms that for him.
After a few minutes, he takes in a shaky breath before finally speaking up.]
...I watched you bleed out in my arms.
[One of his hands clutches at the fabric of Crow's nightshirt unconsciously.]
We kept asking you not to talk, but there wasn't any way to stop the blood. That thing had pierced your heart, and all the witches could do was numb the pain for you.
You apologized to me for not being able to keep a promise. ...Called me a spoiled kid when I asked you not to talk like you were going to die, even though we both knew.
And then the last thing you said was for us to keep going. "Forward, relentlessly, without looking back..."
[His voice is wavering again, like it was on the phone.
He'd already known the Crow in his memories would meet an untimely end. And the reassurance that the Crow in this lifetime is still here, still alive and going strong, it helps.
But the memory is still too recent, too real. Even now, he has to open his eyes to focus on anything else. The image of Crow looking up at him as he runs a hand through his hair one last time, the light slowly leaving his eyes and what's left filled with every apology he could never say aloud... it haunts him if he lets his eyes close again, strikes him like something piercing his own heart.]
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It was...bittersweet, to find out. The death itself...it sounded awful. Pierced through the heart by god knows what, being told there was nothing they could do except allow him time to say goodbye.
Teasing Rean to the very end, as if this wasn't the end of his life, and yet completely knowing it was.
Rean's words sound almost nostalgic in a way he can't describe. As if the memory were fresher than the others, even if it wasn't exactly his memory being triggered.
His breath hitches a little as he takes it all in, resting his cheek on the top of Rean's head as he listens.]
Tried to sound cool up to the end...heh.
Sounds like something I would've done.
[He nuzzles into that hair, soothing himself with the scent from Rean's shampoo as he collects his thoughts. No wonder he'd run over in such a fuss.]
But I'm here now, alright? I'm here now and nothing's going to change that.
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...Yeah. You... all the memories I have of you, even after everything... you always were an ass like that.
[He could not sound any more appreciative of that if he tried.]
And I know... I know. That's why I'm... [He nuzzles against Crow's chest a little, as if to illustrate what he's trying to do. How he's trying to ground himself.] I just... I'm so glad you are here.
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I'm the most dedicated ass you're ever gonna find.
[He knows it's affectionate.]
...
[Crow falls silent when he hears that, though, eyes widening slightly as his grip on Rean squeezes just a little bit. He knew Rean was happy, but he never realized just how much. And also...how happy HE was. Sure, Crow didn't live a TERRIBLE life, if you asked him. He was well loved by his grandfather, he made friends easily, even if he kept them at arms distance when he was younger. But knowing that there's one person in the whole world who listens to his heart and tells him he's so happy he's alive?
Crow smiles, his eyes glassy as he snuggles closer into the man.
Heh, so this is what it's like to be this happy.
The biggest thing he had to atone for in this life? Leaving Rean in their past life. And he'd do his damn hardest to make sure he stays happy.]
Me too, Rean. Me too.
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[And while he's mostly kidding, there's a part of that that's as honest as can be.
There hasn't been a day that's gone by since Crow became an active part of his life that Rean didn't feel genuinely blessed. If that feeling's changed at all, it's only that it's grown stronger.
Rean feels Crow's grip on him tighten, and he can't say he minds at all. He wonders what Crow must be thinking, having to hear all of this. He clearly doesn't remember for himself, not yet. And Rean felt him tense before as he was telling it, but... this is a bit different, isn't it?
He lets out a slow, still slightly shaking breath as he tries to find his center once more. When he speaks, it's barely above a whisper.]
I love you, Crow.
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[There's a softness to his voice that's almost uncharacteristic of him, and yet still Crow. A voice he'd only save for Rean, when they showed their most vulnerable sides to each other.
A time like this, when they just appreciated finding each other again across time and space. A one in a million chance. Even Crow wouldn't have expected those odds...
They both sit in silence for those few moments, Crow just soaking in all of Rean's warmth and touch, memorizing it. As far as he knew, this was his life now. And he was more than okay with that.
And then...
"I love you, Crow."
His eyes snap open once more, staring at the wall behind them, as if the words were still registering in his brain. It only takes a second longer for the feeling to hit him like a brick, flooding himself with a warmth he'd only vaguely remembered from years ago.
A feeling his past self probably knew, too. And one he got to experience now.
Words can't even begin to describe the feeling. They hadn't even been dating for long, and here they were, saying those words that seemed so perfect.
That's right. He still had to respond, didn't he?
Crow's fingers run through Rean's hair, lowering his head down just a little.]
Love you too.
[How couldn't he, after everything?]
Back then and now.
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For once, Rean isn't concerned when Crow doesn't respond immediately. It gives him a moment to soak in their comfortable silence as well, to commit to memory how Crow's arms feel around him and how his heartbeat has picked up its pace just a little, to savor how Crow's fingertips feel against his scalp.
Crow's voice, when it comes, is a comfort all its own. Low and soft as it validates two lifetimes worth of emotion, Rean drinks in the sound as his eyes slip closed with a soft sigh.
"Back then and now." And Rean doesn't doubt for a minute that it's true. He still can't quite shake the way Crow looked at him, running his fingers through his hair just like this. Neither of them had said it, back then, but Rean knew.
Rean's said it a lot lately, how this life is a chance to atone for the mistakes of their past. For him... the mistake he's atoning for, more than anything, is never having told Crow how he felt.
He'll make up for it. He'll say it as many times as he can, until that warmth becomes a natural part of Crow, and long past that just because he can. Because he is here, he is alive, and there is no force in this world that is going to tear the two of them apart without a hell of a fight.]
...I did, too. Back then. [A gentle admission.] But... you probably knew, didn't you?
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[A lot of his past self was shrouded in mystery. But the way he went out of his way for Rean, finding him in the snow, helping him fight that giant robotic goliath...
Yeah, there was no way he didn't feel SOMETHING for him. And a part of him knew Rean's feelings too.
Maybe that's why he tried to push him away so bad when he'd betrayed them. Maybe that's why Rean's words were so painful.]
You chasing after me even when I betrayed you? No way that's normal.
Even my past self knew that.
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[Still, he nestles into his boyfriend-pillow with a sigh.]
...I knew you were lying, though. When you said it didn't matter to you. All the things I remember us doing, all the ways I remember you helping us out... it didn't make sense for you to do any of that if you didn't care about us at all. About me at all.
You were just trying to shove me away because it'd be easier than having to deal with it. But...
[He can't help the nostalgic little smile that spreads on his face, eyes warm as he moves to glance up at Crow.]
Your mistake was forgetting that I can be a royal pain, too. Enough of one to chase you down here, too.
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And how much it hurt to say it. I don't think he expected Rean Schwarzer to whittle his way into his heart like that. And there he was, regretting his actions as they unfolded but not enough to stop him.
Jokes on him...and me.
[But Rean's comment is perfectly timed.]
Haha!
[Crow's whole body vibrates from that laugh, shaking his head in mock disbelief.]
Your determination knows no bounds, Rean Schwarzer. But a man like me has to know when to fold, and you had a full hand.
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Yeah, well. I see what I want, and I can be... [His voice cracks a little as he says the next word, but he continues nonetheless.] relentless.
[He shakes his head a little, doubling as a nuzzle into Crow's chest.]
I wish I remember why he did it. He was devoted to his cause, whatever it was, but... my memory cuts out right before he told the story.
He was just as cagey as you can be now, though. Kept trying to get around telling me. Started by asking if I was interested in any of the girls...
[A beat.]
Which. Now that I think of it, is kind of like what you were trying to do in February, isn't it?
[Calling you out, Crow.]
But anyway, when I shook that off, he just tried to tell me it wasn't anything exciting, like that would change anything. Like you, before we met on that swingset...
So I can't help but think that he must have had a pretty damn good reason for doing everything he did... I mean, murder's still murder, but. I still have faith in him. In you.
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[His fingers start playing around with Rean's hair, watching as it just seems to form to whatever style he wants it to have...
Looks like this is his new little thing to keep himself busy, don't mind him.]
Can't really say for sure, but I think we were both trying to do whatever we could to make sure you had a future worth goin' for.
Which, in February when our minds were all messed up by Retrospec, is probably what I thought at the time.
[But Rean's last sentence hits him, his heart jolting a little. It's strange, he can't really place why it makes his nerves stand on end... Maybe his past self was listening somewhere. If you believed in that kind of thing.]
Political assassinations don't happen over spilled tea, but I doubt it's anything all that grand.
Not that it matters, anyway. Payback was a bitch in full to him.
But.
If you remember anything about his reasons, or if your past self ever found peace, let me know.
I think that's what he would've wanted.
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...Please. Can't speak for my past life, but I think you're about the best decision I've made in the past three years of my life.
[There's an edge of bitterness to that, to be certain, but he's genuine.]
It's funny, you know... you say you ought to copy off his homework a little less, and here you are using almost the same words he did.
[Although his head still rests atop it, Rean brings his hand up toward that piercing scar, tracing patterns absently as he speaks.]
"Right where I shot Osborne, too. Karma's a bitch, huh?"
[Rean sighs, but then flicks his gaze up toward Crow.]
You too, though. ...About reasons, I mean. Unless you get ghost memories or something, in which case, fill me in on those, too.
[Rean's quiet for a while after that, just tracing those patterns on Crow's chest and letting Crow play with his hair. Eventually, though...]
...Although... fate, huh. [He sounds thoughtful, distant.] ...say, Crow. Do you believe in soulmates...?
[His breath hitches the moment the last word leaves his mouth, as if he's uncertain.]
...Mm. Never mind, it's a stupid question. Forget I asked.
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How low is your bar, Rean? The guy who put gatorade in your rice cooker is the best decision of your past three years...
[He nuzzles into the top of Rean's hair, though, obviously feeling mutual.]
You're definitely the best I've made.
[His face falls, hand rubbing against his boyfriend's head as he bores holes into the mattress.]
I doubt it. Seems pretty much like curtains for me. Not like I was gonna become a zombie or anything. Our world might've been magic, but the undead is kinda stretchin' it.
...Hope you found a nice girl or guy though, whoever they were.
[He'll leave it at that, and not his soft brewing jealousy that he couldn't be that person. It was fine, he has Rean in this life.]
...
[Rean's question (and his quick dismissal) earn raised eyebrows, his chest exhaling in contemplation.]
Well, with everything Retrospec has thrown at us...I can't really rule it out.
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[...Ah. Crow took him seriously, there. He'd been joking, really...]
...I was kidding about the ghost bit, you know. I didn't mean... [He shakes his head a little again.] ...Well. If I find out anything, I already promised to let you know, right? But... if I'm honest, I think "peace" probably would be the best we can hope for. If he and I are the same... I'm not sure I'm strong enough to move on after losing someone like you.
[He goes quiet again, swallowing hard. He tries to keep his voice steady when he continues, to middling success.]
...It doesn't matter, anyway. We're here now, and... even if it's a little late, I finally got what I was after, didn't I? And we can walk forward into whatever the future holds for both of us. Without either of us leaving the other behind.
[Crow's response to his stupid question, despite Rean's urging, gets Rean's breath to hitch a little. It's almost like he's afraid of the answer.]
So... "not at first, but I do now?" Because that's more or less how I feel now, too.
So I just... wonder sometimes. ...About us. [His voice gets smaller and smaller as he goes. He's used to impassioned, corny speeches, but this is a little out of his comfort zone.] But... it's probably too early to think about anything like that, right? So... it's like I said, just forget it.
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Right, right. What's past is past and I got you fair and square! [There's a little squeeze, for confirmation.] Let's worry about those memories when the time comes, and focus on our lives now.
[That's the most either of them can hope for, and it's enough to keep Crow looking forward each day.]
That's...a good way to put it, actually. I wouldn't say I didn't believe in it, but rather I wasn't going to place any bets on it.
[But Rean pulls away from that question again, and Crow's face turns into a pout. You. Are going to come out with it, Rean. There's no time like the present.
So Crow just keeps his arms wrapped around Rean and rolls back and forth a few times, Rean's face smothered in his chest and legs locking around his like a vicegrip.]
Nuh uh! We're not forgetting it.
[He stops rolling.]
Because I think...if anything, we might just be. Too soon to tell, but a lot of evidence supports it, don't you think?
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[He sounds more confident at the idea of just focusing on their lives now. Relieved.
...and then any sense of calm is ripped away from him when Crow starts rolling with him, leading Rean to yelp and flail a little.]
H-hey...!
[He's breathing a little rougher when Crow stops, pulling away a little mostly to reassure himself of his freedom. But not far - enough that he can lock his gaze with Crow's directly, his eyes a little wide and his cheeks dyed darker.]
I...
[He wasn't expecting Crow to agree with him, which is why he shied away twice. But here they are.]
...Yeah. [His gaze softens a little, and although it might be hard to quite make out the warmth of it in the darkness, it's there.] That's how I feel, too.
[There are more thoughts swirling in his mind, but... not now. He's too comforted by that answer to be too concerned with any of them, right now.
They'll work things out at their own pace, and for now, that's enough.
He shifts himself again, this time to move upward so that he can press his lips to Crow's. It's a soft kiss, but passionate all the same; his eyes flutter closed and he lingers for a moment or two, reveling in the airy feeling that's pushed aside some of his darker thoughts for the time being.
What's past is past, and they're together now. He can do things like this, or curl up against his chest and listen to his heartbeat while Crow plays with his hair, and it's okay. Everything else could come in time.]
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That's all there was to it.
But Crow's eyes flicker open at that kiss, gently pressing back for as long as Rean holds it with him. There's nothing holding either of them back in this moment. There's nothing but true affection.]
Heh...good.
Now.
[Crow pulls the covers over them, reaching over to turn off his alarm that was set to go off at 6:30.]
I hope you weren't planning on going to school today, because we're long overdue for some sleep.
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And then there are covers being pulled over them, which Rean can't complain about, and then—]
But...
[But school is important, Crow...! Even so, he doesn't keep up the fight for long, pouting a little but sighing in defeat almost immediately.]
...At least go to your important classes. Those aren't until later, right?
[And there's nothing about him going to school today, so it seems like this is a compromise.]
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[Crow burrows into the pillows and the top of Rean's head, giving a relaxed exhale.]
Now get some sleep. I'll make breakfast for us when we wake up...and then we'll head out later today. I got somethin' I gotta do.
Sound like a plan?
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[Rean seems to accept this, at least. So long as he's not holding Crow back from things he actually cares about...!
He nestles into Crow again, letting his body relax fully.]
'Night, then. Love you.
...and sorry for keeping you up so late.
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[Once they're comfortable, Crow sinks into that touch, eyes already drooping off into sleep. It was hard not to get addicted to this.]
Love you too.
And sweet dreams~
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[Rean's already starting to mumble his words a bit, eyes slipping closed and starting to doze off himself.
It is hard not to get addicted to this warmth, this affection that envelops him like a comforting blanket. And the best thing is, he doesn't have to hold himself back.]
LATER THAT DAY
Slowly and surely, they got up, had their late breakfast as promised, and mostly took it easy. Coffee and tea were made, pancakes were had, and the TV was on to give them the white noise while they went about their day. Crow had stayed in his pajamas for most of it, his trend of not wearing his bandana any longer giving him the most disastrous case of bedhead.
Not that it really changed much about his hair. It was pretty bedhead to start. With it's longer length, he'd taken to wearing it over one shoulder, like a side ponytail without the actual hair tie. It actually stayed there too, which was probably the most amazing part of it all.
It's not until around 3PM that Crow excuses himself to go put actual clothes on, coming down in his jeans and converse and slipping on a spring jacket over that tanktop.]
Alright, c'mon and get yourself lookin' beautiful. We're running errands.
[Normally he would've just said he'd handle it himself, but this one was special, and it required Rean to be there.]
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